help me, God!
m in dire straits now! i've got music theory exam tmr from 10am-12nn & m not totally done revising the stuff. came home to check exam timetable cos i've got supp paper to sit for. the paper's on mon @ 9.30am. i've actually asked TWO tutors abt the dates for supp paper but all i got was "check tp website" and "timetable will be out this fri". one of them's my accounts tutor & the other, my internship liason officer. they know m on internship & surely they understand tt i require ample time to inform my employers???
but again...God has been good. cher suddenly had to call me regarding membership forms for tmr's ecm at gtf. she said i sounded stressed so i told her abt it and we prayed. thank God for helping me see this as anor test of faith frm Him. u see, God never promised me a smooth ride. He just promised to be there for me & He has kept it & will still do. i actually m trying to find a way to contact one of the lawyers to inform them tt i'd go in late this mon and realised tt i actually got down one of their secretaries' hp no! thank God...m gonna call her tmr & leave the rest to God :) also, i called ss to see if i could 'book' him on sunday after church to revise accounts with me and he agreed...thank God for His providence :) m sure He'll see me thru this whole thing...
m sorry, God
"help me then in every tribulation
so to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
that i lose not faith's sweet consolation
offered me within Thy holy Word.
help me, Lord, when toil & trouble meeting,
e'er to take, as frm a father's hand,
one by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
till i reach the promised land."
"day by day" has been 1 of my fav hymns yet this stanza never struck me as hard as it did this morning @ youth service. i asked myself "have i been trusting Him in tribulation?" "have i really held on to faith's sweet consolation?" no, i haven't. i realised that afterall...i haven't been really thankful to Him abt my failure. subconciously, i've been angry at God tt i failed accounts...realised i've actually lost a l'il faith there the past 2 days. realised i'd actually kinda avoided Him....yeah, talked to Him, definitely. asked Him for help i sure did...but deep within, i tink i might have started to doubt Him...wondered why didn't He let me pass accounts...and if He'll do the same to my requests...
m just so thankful to God for His grace. for making me realise, before it was too late, how i've started to doubt Him...i pray that this hymn would always be a reminder to me that no matter wat happens, i need to constantly trust Him...
indeed, "who am i"...?
" "amazing grace how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.
i once was lost but now m found, was blind but now i see"
and the more i sing that sweet old song, the more i understand,
that i do not comprehend this love tt's coming from Your hand.
who am i, that You would love me so gently?
who am i, that You would recognise my name?
who am i, that You speak to me so softly?
conversation with the Love most high, who am i?"
You know God...i'm so sorry. please forgive me...
thank God for failures :)
was given an mc for today last nite...i decided to go to work anyway since the pain had subsided after medication before i went to bed. but i left only after abt an hour at work when the pain came back, feeling really disappointed. 2 more days at the IP dept next week before gng to the liti dept...
took a real long nap but was awoken by jiahui's call to ask if i wanted to meet up for dinner...and den came my exam results by sms. as expected, i failed C&P accounts...i was still half asleep & told myself it's prolly a dream, before gng back to sleep again...checked my hp again when i woke up and yeah...it was real!!! was disappointed but was reminded tt in everything, i should give thanks. so thank God i failed tt paper, becos i believe He has His reasons...besides, i have only myself to blame for not putting in enuf effort... : )
got a brand new Canon thumb drive from kor today : )
ready to meet Him?
just got back from the 24-hour clinic cos i had terrrible chest pains. doc says it's pretty unlikely to have anything to do with the heart but i just hafta wait till tmr to see if the pains subside...just thank God tt m actually still alive this very moment. as i was in kor's car, death suddenly came to my mind...weird. but i guess it was just a reminder from God to be always ready to meet Him : )
thank God for anor good day at work. also wanna thank Him tt i wasn't late today : ) anyway, was assigned to report to a particular client regarding all the tradmarks tt have been registered under them etc. soooo many files! there were prolly abt 12 files and i made a mistake in one!!! eeks...but thank God alice (who assigned me the work) was nice abt it : ) was also assigned to destroy documents in old files to make space! eeeeeks...nobody would ever believe the amount of papers i had to shred & tear! i've never had to get rid of sooo much paper in my life. i took like, 2 hours to do it and guess wat...m still not done -.-
popped by the litigation dept after lunch to put my cans of iced mocha into the fridge and saw poor muizz doing pagination. haa...it was really funny. when i went in, he said "let me show u which page m on now" and he when he lifted the pagination stamp, it read "851"...haaa...and guess wat? this lawyer came along and showed us 2 murder files!!! really gruesome pics but yeah...exciting!
oh well...abt anor 3 days before my turn in the liti dept! it doesn't sound tt scary afterall!
first day as an intern!
today was my first day at infinitus law corp. thank God! it's been a really wonderful & exciting day! was so afraid abt this whole internship thinggie last nite...but thank God for friends, 'cher, and of cos, daddy & mommy who encouraged me and prayed for me. m so glad today turned out well...really learnt a lot of stuff. i even filed my first electronic application to register for a patent! it was scary (becos if a mistake was made & filed, you'd have to pay a LOT to file anor form to correct it), yet exciting and cool! made friends too : ) they were really nice to actually teach me so much on the first day & even allowed me to get my hands on stuff like replying to clients, opening new files and the most exciting was of cos, the e-filing of the application to register a patent!!!
will be with the intellectual property department for a week, thereafter which i will move on to the litigation department! hmm...ppl say tt liti is the most interesting but u noe, after today...i tink IP isn't tt bad either! preferences i guess : )
anyway, was really encouraged at prayer meeting this evening. was also reminded tt as part of God's family, we ought to constantly encourage one anor. even as Christians, we need lotsa encouragement frm others. in this sinful world, we can never be encouraged by it. satan will try to discourage us, esp from accomplishing our main purpose in life...so let us therefor constantly "consider one anor to provoke unto love" (hebrews 10:24)!
thanks, mommy
today's trip to JB's city square with mommy & grandma (and her friend) was good. thank God for journeying mercies along the way. we even made friends with this lady who was also gng to JB with her 2 sons & anor lady. thank God for her cos we didn't really know the way & it was her who led us to the shopping mall.
i was such a brat today. mommy wanted to buy me this dress which i didn't mind getting but i also wanted this british-indian kinda skirt which was pretty ex. i couldn't decide on wat i wanted & made her quite unhappy. i decided not to get either but i guess disappointment was written all over my face and in the end she decided to get both for me. m just reminded of how blessed i actually m to have her as my mommy. she hardly bought anything for herself and as usual, tried to get me watever i wanted so long as she could afford it...i just can't wait for the day i can actually spend just as much money, if not more...on her.
alrite...m feeling a l'il tired. looking at the pile of theory hw i've gotta complete before tmr's piano lesson makes me feel even more tired. sheesh...i pray tt i'd be disciplined to wake up early tmr to complete it...
just wanna thank God for a really good time spent with my mom...esp on the bus...i pray tt even when internship starts, i'd still be able to spend quality time with her...
brothers appreciation nite 2004
i wanna begin by giving thanks & glory to God for this evening's "brothers appreciation nite". i really thank God for His grace and for giving me strength throughout the planning of this event.
i had almost given up on this whole thing earlier this week. but i really really thank God i didn't becos i'd have missed out on something really meaningful. indeed, God has blessed me with so many wonderful brothers (and of cos sisters)-in-Christ : ) it was especially meaningful when all the sisters shared with the brothers why we appreciate them. dinner on the roof garden was great too. it was really exhausting after all the preparation of food at my home, and den finally serving the brothers during dinner. however, i honestly enjoyed myself even thru serving becos i was reminded of how blessed it feels to be giving, and not just recieving.
indeed, this is what being part of God's family is about. exhorting, edifying & encouraging one anor in the Lord...
dear & i stir-frying the beef for shepherd's pie at home 
our al-fresco dinner on the roof garden : )
being cheeky! 
grp shot (my cam..so blur)
grp shot (dear's cam)
the sisters. uh-oh...where's fiona?
the 1985 buddies
attn: simon lydia
thank God for lydia who helped me with buying gifts @ ikea for this sat's brothers appreciation nite : ) i've always enjoyed being around her and yep, we had a good time again today! ate so much tho...hotdogs, ice cream...and just as we were leaving, lydia suddenly suggested gng to the restaurant and we ended up sitting there talking & eating for abt anor 45minutes...oh yesh, and we now share this really funny secret...hmm...(see lydia, m not telling everyone tt u dropped your camera into the toilet bowl today!) *bleah*
GOD IS SOVEREIGN!
m supposed to be staying over at eve's place but i just couldn't help coming home to share my testimony with everyone at home, and of cos here!
this evening, while gng to raffles shopping centre for dinner with eve & ric, i dropped my wallet and realised it only when we were at the food court. eve & i went back to wherever we've been to search for it while ric helped search my bag. of cos, the wallet was no longer in sight and i walked back to the food court feeling really disappointed...and a l'il heartbroken cos of all the stuff in it. i called darrell at home & told him to pray for me cos i lost my wallet but he told me "chey, wallet only. thank God not ur hp. at least u still can call home to tell us lor". of cos i felt that he wouldn't understand...but he was really helpful to tell me wat to do, like make a police report, come home, cancel posb card the next morning etc.
while sitting at the food court, i suddenly felt a l'il peace coming into my heart. i den realised tt, hey, this wallet is but anor earthly possession! i told ric & eve not to worry abt me & carry on with dinner...as ric left eve & i there to get food for us, i told eve to give me a moment to talk to God...
i said, "dear God, i pray that You will give me the peace & help me remember tt the wallet's just anor earthly possession that i cannot take to heaven when i die. help me get over it...but Lord, if it's Your will, i just pray tt You will convict the heart of the person who picks up my wallet..."
i was praying halfway when my hp started ringing. it was suefern. i was wondering "wow, how fast news spread...even kor's girlfriend knows abt it?" as i picked up the call.
"gwyneth, did u lose ur wallet?" she asked me. for a moment i tot God had allowed suefern to pick up my wallet! lols...but of cos, God had greater plans! suefern told me tt one mr singh called her to tell her tt he had picked up my wallet & wanted me to call him immediately.
eve & i ran all the way to peninsular hotel to meet mr singh, only to find out tt he wasn't the one who had picked it. i asked to meet the person who found it so i may thank him/her personally but was told tt it was a hotel guest who had checked out.
altho i have never met & prolly will never meet the person who picked up my wallet, i just wanna thank God for him/her & can only pray that God will bless him/her in His own way...
m also reminded tt my God is sovereign, always in control...eve's reminder to me was tt God blesses those who honour Him & do His work. i thank God for this reminder & encouragement...just as i was abt to give up on serving the Lord...
to God be the glory great things He hath done! amen!
ric took this for me. beautiful bridge. 3 of us posed for 1 together but the batt died
thanks joel : )
was really disappointed with someone. we were supposed to go look for drawers for gtf at ikea...& at the same time look for presents for brothers appreciation nite. but i guess she forgot tt promise cos she only told me she couldn't make it when i called her last nite. i decided tt i'd still meet at 11am today altho i was upset. but we had some heated exchanges over sms this morning. told me she isn't free and all...i just cannot comprehend why ppl always say they're busy and push all the work to me...nobody really understands or try to understand how i feel...but it's alrite. i know God does...
cried it all out last nite. thank God for joel who was there...to listen & to give advice. yah...he's right. since i feel that everyone expects me to do everything & takes me for granted, then i shouldn't do it. guess it's time to just take a step back...
anyway, i had a really good day with ric, adrienne & elena today : ) they're really nice & fun ppl to be with & i thank God for them : ) oh yes, thanks adrienne! for waiting at the bus stop with me as we watched two 143 go by! haharz
this week's been a bad start. but i believe God will be there for me & see me thru : )
"i can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."
what should i do?
just talked to 'cher on the fone...here comes tt impt time of the year once again...elections. to run, or not to run?
the past 6 years in the ex-co have been wonderful. i've realised tt being in the ex-co isn't just abt learning to organise activities or programmes, but rather, to learn to trust God more each day...all the trials tt we've been put thru, m thankful to God for them...it's been a great experience seeing how God solves each problem for us...seeing His hand at work...i want the younger gtfers to be able to experience this goodness of God too...but selfish me isn't willing to give up my chance of experiencing God's almighty hand at work.
wat should i do, Lord?
i just can't help it...
just can't help but think of you.
today's thoughts
as i was listening to darrell giving thanks to God during gtf's praying & sharing session, my heart was filled with gratefulness to God. just abt 2 months ago, i was so disheartened when my bro said that it's so hard to trust God & he finds it useless to ask God for help. but today, m so glad tt darrell has seen God's power. darrell shared tt he was so desperate when he prayed & asked tt God would just let him get into a jc. but he thanked God tt God didn't only let him get into a jc, but also gave him choices. praise the Lord for being so real to my l'il bro. i pray that no matter wat, darrell's faith in the Lord will not waiver...
as darrell & i were walking home today, we passed 2 wakes gng on. the first one was really grand. this person prolly knew many ppl when he was alive. he had close to 20 wreaths lined along the sidewalk. but the other guy's funeral was a really simple one. barely 5 wreaths, and well, just really simple. darrell was talking abt them & amidst our l'il conversation, he mentioned "and sadly, these are non-christians". as we walked on, i tot to myself...yeah...one guy may have had a funeral much more grand than the other...but when they meet their Maker, won't they still face the same Judgement? aren't they both already in a place full of eternal sufferings & treated the same way?
sigh. i just really pray that those loved ones around me would come to know the Lord soon. i know for sure tt God is merciful, but He will not wait forever. but when the Gate closes, it will be forever.
"have you any room for Jesus, He who bore your load of sin?
as He knocks and asks admission, sinner, will you let Him in?
room for pleasure, room for business- but for Christ the Crucified,
not a place that He can enter, in the heart for which He died?
have you any room for Jesus, as in grace He calls again?
o today is time accepted, tomorrow you may call in vain.
room and time now give to Jesus, soon will pass God's day of grace;
soon your heart left cold and silent, and your Saviour's pleading cease.
room for Jesus, King of glory! hasten now, His Word obey;
swing the heart's door widely open, bid Him enter...WHILE YOU MAY."
yellow ribbon project
was walking to popular from the interchange today when 2 men approached me for donation but i just walked past them. but after taking less than 5 steps away, i actually realised tt they were ex-convicts selling yellow ribbons. i felt a little bad & i actually surprised myself when i turned around and walked back towards the nearest guy. after i put the money in, he handed me this small card with a yellow ribbon and said to me politely, "zhu(3) zhu(4) fu(2) ni(3)" which is, "God bless you" in mandarin. i dun recall saying anything back but after i turned to walk off, it struck me tt i should have said "God bless you too". but anyway, m so glad tt this guy has heard the gospel. it just made me tink of those ppl out there who really need to hear the gospel...m sure there are many others who haven't, & i pray that they will, eventually. my prayer for these ppl isn't just abt them being accepted by society once again, but rather, tt they hear of God's greatest Gift and be saved.
thank God for eve who helped me with the gtf notice board today. on the board, i actually wrote "in this world of darkness, we must SHINE!"...looking at the completed board, i asked myself...are we really shining for Him? reaching out to others in accordance with our theme?
anyway, tt's abt it for today actually...i would say it's been a pretty good day, cept for a l'il disappointment cos a fren wanted to meet for lunch but ended up falling asleep. i just pray tt this fren would be just a l'il more responsible...i hope she won't misunderstand me when i say this cos, if she wasn't a fren to me, this wouldn't even bother me. oh well, thank God for a fufilling day, cos m glad the notice board's finally done up. 1 item off my to-do list : )
alrite, most impt of all, before i happily bounce away, i'd just like to thank God my Best Friend (capital B, capital F) jonathan who brightened up my day (so bright i was almost blinded!!! heh). was really nice of him to come down to church to accompany me, and on top of tt, he even threw in a box of choco mint ice cream! thanks Best Friend! : )
sheesh...so much for yesterday's squash game. i ate so much today...and best, kor & suefern's gonna bring home some bbq chicken wings for me...
sms from him
thank God my exams are over! managed to clear some rubbish in my room today. still got lots to clear...but m sure God will help me do it. one thing abt me is tt i love keeping stuff. i keep everything. but when i remember tt these things can't be brought with me to heaven, i start to not feel to bad abt throwing them away : ) yup. earthly possessions. how can it be compared to my Home up there?! :D
a sms frm a really treasured friend made my day. was really surprised when i saw his name appear. but of cos, really really delighted. it actually brought a smile to my face : ) doesn't matter if he sent it to many others too, but just thankful tt he remembered me & sent me one.
just giving thanks...
last week went by so quickly. papa's trip home this time seemed really short. wished he had come home after my exams actually. prolly could have spent more time with him...
thank God tt tmr's my last paper. today's cpa paper was really bad. but i thank God for this peace tt He gave me even tho i couldn't do it. after i left the hall, i wasn't really bothered abt it...thank God for peace that passeth all understanding! yup...m gonna just leave it all in the hands of God : )
had a really wonderful evening at home yesterday. mommy told me to invite the gtfers but they kept saying "see first" or "can't. gotta study"...i tot nobody would be coming already but thank God for bringing eve, jaime, jonathan, josiah & nelson over! : ) m glad tt this small no. turned up actually cos i felt it was easier to talk and yeah...thank God for the sweet fellowship! relatives came over too. was nice seeing my uncles, aunties, l'il cousins & grandma! haven't seen them in a while actually...well...
anyway, i had a really great conversation with nelson & eve yesterday. we started talking at the church porch...den decided to go to the cry room...and finally ended up at my home...m getting more & more excited abt studying & learning even more abt the bible! yeap. : )
wow-wee. check out our holy communion bread! haa... :X
see how eve is enjoying it? eh, really cool leh. tink we can try using tt at church. hmm...
my relatives (plus jonathan, with mommy feeding him caviar. yucks)...
anor shot of my relatives...yup...
also, thank God for a good time i had talking with my mom over lunch today after we saw daddy off at the airport : ) shared with her abt eugene too...yeah...dearies, pray for his salvation yah!
blessed children's day!
thank God for a wonderful time with my family this evening. went to jack's place for family dinner cos papa & mommy wanted to give us a children's day treat. haa...today's been a good day : ) i woke up early to go for breakfast with papa & mommy too! : ) anyway, blessed children's day to one & all!
Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. red & yellow, black & white, all are precious in His sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world!
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