just some thoughts, i guess.
"pp closest to you hurt you the most..." this has been behind my friend's nick on msn for more than a month...and this evening, i couldn't more agree with her.
as much as i've been trying not to, m feeling pretty hurt now. and as much as i choose to not allow it, disappointment still creeps in at times. but m thankful that somehow, God has given me strength to cope with such disappointment a l'il better now. two months ago, i probably would have felt very hurt. these days...it doesn't hurt as much as it used to. but it still hurts a l'il, of course. just being human i guess.
since i came back on this trip, once in a while i can't help but ask myself this question - while you're away and really happy where you are, some ppl tend to tell you how much they miss your presence and want you to come back...but when you're finally home, he/she just disappoints you again and again...as much as i choose to tell myself he/she isn't doing it intentionally. well, this is singapore, afterall. everyone's busy.
then this evening, somehow, this friend seemed pretty impatient with me...maybe it was just me, or...just that she didn't realise it. but i just had to be honest with this friend abt how i really felt...i didn't expect a reply, but i got one anyway. the reply just got me thinking a l'il more...
why are you saying sorry, when there are BUTs...
why do you have to make me feel this way, just because you feel that things have somehow become different since i returned from this trip...
what are the struggles you're facing that are actually (unintentionally, i hope) causing me to feel this way...
why are things different after my return..?
have i changed? i sure hope this trip has changed me...for the better, of course...and most of all, made me more God-focused, i hope...but if it's a change that's causing a strain to a friendship that means so much to me...hmm...i wonder if a change is that good after all.
as much as i've been trying not to, m feeling pretty hurt now. and as much as i choose to not allow it, disappointment still creeps in at times. but m thankful that somehow, God has given me strength to cope with such disappointment a l'il better now. two months ago, i probably would have felt very hurt. these days...it doesn't hurt as much as it used to. but it still hurts a l'il, of course. just being human i guess.
since i came back on this trip, once in a while i can't help but ask myself this question - while you're away and really happy where you are, some ppl tend to tell you how much they miss your presence and want you to come back...but when you're finally home, he/she just disappoints you again and again...as much as i choose to tell myself he/she isn't doing it intentionally. well, this is singapore, afterall. everyone's busy.
then this evening, somehow, this friend seemed pretty impatient with me...maybe it was just me, or...just that she didn't realise it. but i just had to be honest with this friend abt how i really felt...i didn't expect a reply, but i got one anyway. the reply just got me thinking a l'il more...
why are you saying sorry, when there are BUTs...
why do you have to make me feel this way, just because you feel that things have somehow become different since i returned from this trip...
what are the struggles you're facing that are actually (unintentionally, i hope) causing me to feel this way...
why are things different after my return..?
have i changed? i sure hope this trip has changed me...for the better, of course...and most of all, made me more God-focused, i hope...but if it's a change that's causing a strain to a friendship that means so much to me...hmm...i wonder if a change is that good after all.
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