Genesis 22:1-14: July 2004

Saturday, July 31, 2004

eating fiesta, erm, spree.

i'm listening to: I Think About You -Collin Raye

if i were to describe wat i did today in one word, it'd be "eating". the only thing i really remember doing was eating, eating and more eating.

kor picked me up at the church bus stop today after GTF 'cos we were supposed to have a family dinner before daddy flies off tmr. met ziming on my way out of the church backgate. haven't seen him around. was nice seeing him actually. but we exchanged only a few words. FEW words:

ziming: how's your brother?
me: fine...didn't come today.
ziming: why?
me: either at sch or at home studying i guess.
ziming: how's he? as in... (rubs stomach)
me: oh, that. still the same. or growing.

anyway, back to the dinner thing. when i reached home at 6.30pm, papa & darrell were working on some speakers thinggie. we were actually in a rush to go for dinner 'cos kor had reserved a table at jack's place at 6.15pm and also 'cos he had Fellowsheep meeting at 7.30pm...yah...so in the end kor told us to go ahead without him. i was pretty sad 'cos we had dinner there kinda because he had this birthday promotion thinggie...a pity that he couldn't enjoy it... :(

anyway, just abt an hour after we got home from dinner, kor came home and we all went for supper again. tot it'd be at some hawker so papa & mommy just wore 'home' clothes. i too, just wore my slippers and jumped into the car. oh wow, wat a PLEASANT surprise kor gave us when he dropped us outside crystal jade. ... ... ... was all tt was running thru my head. anyway, i tot i wouldn't be eating there 'cos of heavy dinner. but ended up eating tim sum anyway~ haharz...i am feeling reeeeeal full now. my stomach wall has prolly expanded by another few inches. *sobs*

but all in all, i just wanna really thank God for a well-spent evening with my family : ) it's not very often that we get to even sit down together for a meal at home. thank God for family. and...am really glad tt kor's talking more these days... :)

oh yesh, thanks kor! for the treats you have been giving me!!! makes me not wanna work so i'll keep getting treats...haa... ;)

kor's birthday!

i'm listening to: How Good It Can Be -88

thank God for a really wonderful friday. yesterday's thinggie was the highlight of the week for me 'cos some of us planned a surprise birthday dinner for kor. (suefern was the 'mastermind' and i really thank God that kor's been blessed with a good girlfriend. just pray that she'll accept Christ soon. yup.) it was really funny 'cos of how it turned out. papa & mommy were to act like they were watching tv when kor came home, while allvina, luvena, shanying, joe, alan, chill and i waited in the kitchen with the cake on standby. darrell darling was the one with the cam, waiting to snap shots of kor's surprised look. but guess wat, after we sprung the surprise on him by singing him the birthday song in english & chinese, watch him say grace and blow out the candles and all, he grinned and said to us "actually am not surprised u noe. i expected it."

"whyee???" we asked him.

"c'mon la. my birthday, and my parents didn't even ask me if i wanted to have dinner with them. and when suefern told me she needed the toilet when we were at the highway, i suspected something"

haharz...oh well, all of us were so 'sian' (abt it) but nevertheless, had a good laugh. had steamboat dinner and my, i could practically fill my stomach just with all the laughing around the table~ joanne came over a lil later and after dinner, we took pictures with the (melted-and-a-L'IL-smashed) tiramisu cake. and u noe wat? the cake was really GREAT!!! for my next birthday, i ought to ask mommy for a tiramisu cake frm hilton. (bleahhh)

oh well, at abt 10.20pm when i was catchin up with 'cher on the fone (she got back on thu! yayness!) at my doorstep when everyone started leaving. i assumed they were gng home already but no. haharz, suefern shouted from the carpark "gwyneth, are u coming along?!!" to where? a karaoke lounge...lols. well, i had LOTS of fun with them there, really. kor & the guys were really crazy and all. doing really retarded stuff (if only i could upload tt videoclip here). one moment we were singing soft seranading-like songs; screaaaaming our heads off the next. like wow, ain't i supposed to be studying for my papers on mon?? :P

got home at 3.45am. was really tired and falling asleep in the car. but the tot of sleeping on my pillow with my hair smelling of cigarette smoke (nono, none of us smokes. it's just the smell u get at these places even tho we were in a room of our own) forced me to take a proper bath before plopping right into bed.

i really thank God for yesterday. haven't let my hair down (no, not literally of cos) in a very lonnngggg time! was something i needed. and i also thank God for gerald :) was wondering wat i'd do in town from 3plus before collecting the cake 'cos alan could only pick me up at 6pm. was really happy when he asked if i wanted to hang out cos he actually had a meeting which was eventually cancelled. i haven't seen him for so long tt i didn't even know he had changed his specs or gotten a new hp. well, tt's wat he said. haaa...anyway, thanks so much, gerald... :) and sorry abt not being able to see u perform at sonic fest today...really.

hmm...papa's flying off again tmr...i pray that tonite's dinner would be a well-spent one...and i pray that after i enter this journal, i'd get to studying!!!

Thursday, July 29, 2004

where's the peanut?

i'm listening to: Where's the peanut? -The GTFers

haa...rite, the GTFers have got a MTV! haharz...any of you who hasn't seen it and would like to, just ask me for it k...haharz, i just can't stop laughing everytime i see it or tink about it.

yayness. am talking to papa & mommy again :D thank God...

hmm...tmr's kor's birthday. his oh-so-sweet suefern has planned something for him...we're giving him a surprise dinner at home...can't wait to see his face when he comes home to find his buddies at home...haaaaa...and yeah, i pray that God will help me get home fast enuf before the cake melts!

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

untitled

haven't cried this hard in a long time. mommy came down to get food and realised i wasn't responding to her much when she asked me stuff. she prolly told papa cos he came down to ask me if i wanted to go for breakfast tmr. i dun wanna go. i told him. too late. i noe he's upset.

not that i really dun wanna go. deep down i do. i really do. am so sorry dad...so sorry...u made me do this.

crushed.

am suddenly feeling really disappointed...just went upstairs to ask papa & mommy if they wanted to have breakfast together tmr since i've only got lecture at 11am...but all they cared abt was watching tv...and when i slowly walked off since they weren't listening, mommy had to comment to pa that i'm "always like tt. talk halfway just walk off". like hello? who wasn't even listening to me? here i am trying to some time to be with them but they dun even care can...all i wanted was to have some time with dad before he flies off again this sunday...i feel so hurt but they dun even realise it... feel so...crushed.

when i die, i hope they see this and realise how they hurt me by what they said and did today...

Monday, July 26, 2004

1 corinthians 4

was having quiet time with God and thought i'll share about what i read from God's word today...was reading about the stewards and ministers of Christ from 1 corinthians 4. paul told the corinthians that men ought to regard them as servants of Christ and as those who have been entrusted with the mysteries of God. We who have been given a trust must prove ourselves faithful. we should not care much if we're judged by others or any human court. in fact, paul said that even he should not judge himself. it is the Lord who judges us.

two impt reminders to me are...
1. we ought to be faithful servants of the Lord (1 corinthians 4:2)
2. we must not judge others' motives or service (1 corintians 4:3)

this just reminds me of how guitly i am when it comes to judging others. i'm one who's quick to judge others and once someone does something wrong and i find out, i tend to remember it and forget that he's not the only sinner. i, too, am one! tho it might be something else that i've done wrong...today's text has been a wonderful reminder, esp at a time when jonathan and i are trying to help this younger bro-in-Christ out with his bad habits. i just pray that God will help me not judge him and give me the strength to be forgiving and sincerely help him. tough...but i believe i can do all things thru Christ who gives me strength : )

oh yes dear, i hope u enjoyed yourself on your 1st day at school today! pa & mommy saw you at JP eh? haa... *hugs* may God bless you with wisdom and discipline as you go back to studying!

Sunday, July 25, 2004

just let me say...

i'm listening to: The Glory -Avalon

praise God for sustaining my parents for so many years! am glad Daddy made it back last night to celebrate his and mommy's birthday :) realised i actually haven't seen him since the day i flew off for chiangmai! anyway, last nite we simply ordered pizza and got the both of them to cut a cake. today we had our relatives over for popiah dinner...simple yet pleasant. was really nice seeing everyone...thank God for family :)

and to pa and mommy...a very blessed birthday to you!!! and i love you...

oh my, kids these days are so unbelievable...my 5-yr-old cousin can play "gold miner" on the com...jordon really impressed me when he was playing it can...haharz, was chatting with joel halfway but charlotte, natasha & jordon ended up hogging my com, taking turns to play the game...

this week is prolly gonna be anor stressful week for me...but thank God combined games day peeps ain't meeting during the week this time...but i gotta go all the way to moriah on sunday!!!!!!! noOoOo...

i pray that God will give me the strength...i know He will. if not for Him, i would have konked out last week...thanks Yaweh, for being my source of comfort & strength always :)

last week has been tiring but wonderful, cos God has been wonderful...thank God also for a friend in mylene!!! been fun talking to her a lot this week...and yesh, dear!!! u noe our after-12 madness tt cher's always so afraid of during retreats? haharz, nelson came up with a term for us...Fatigue-induced temporal insanity...we've been hit by the FITI disease!!!!!! arrrrrghhhh!!! haaa....

oh well...lots to say but all of a sudden, i just can't seem to be able to put them down in words...but...

"just let me say...how much i love You...my Saviour, my Lord and Friend..."

Sunday, July 18, 2004

lunch with older peeps / locked out!

i'm listening to: The Reason -Hoobastank

today's been a pretty good sunday, thank God. different from my usual i guess...i felt so sian when everyone suddenly had their own plans today : esp dear who always seem too busy for me...

oh well, anyway, i decided to follow kor, suefern and some others for lunch at jack's place today...was quite hesitant when i found out the rest would be alan & chill plus ben & linda...like dumb rite? i'd be such a big fat bulb dining with 3 couples...but fiona came along (for a while) with kor, suefern & i anyway...and when we were there, jacob, luvena, allvina, jonathan & stanley joined us too :) it was nice tagging along with them...tho i was the youngest there...the stuff they talked about were really funny? and silly too, considering their age!

at first i was quite sad tt i had to spend so much on lunch with them...of cos can, they're all working while i'm the only pathetic student there...but guess wat?? kor paid for my meal!!! haaa...thanks kor, tho u prolly won't be reading this :)

after lunch, they just decided to go bowling...i didn't play, oh well, in fact, only the guys & linda played...i was really surprised to see them bowl! really! i never knew ppl like kor, ben, stanley and alan could bowl so well!!! ben even got 4 strikes in a row can!!! hahahaharz...wait till the rest like my beloved ss, dear, fiona and all here about this... *bleah*

anyway...when kor, suefern & i reached home, we were locked out cos the gate's lock was spoilt!!! we had to wait outside till the locksmith came...ended up singing with suefern in the car while kor washed it...haaa...

haa...but still, i really had lotsa fun today and i thank God for that...cos i never tot today would be fun after i found out my close friends were all too busy for me, really...yup, thank You, Lord! :D

Saturday, July 17, 2004

combined GTF/Fellowsheep games day

i'm listening to: Friends -Michael W.Smith

i praise and thank Jehovah Shammah-the Lord Who is there, for a blessed time of fellowship today! GTF and the Fellowsheep had our combined games day at church today :) i want to thank God also for the good weather that we've been praying for! when alan was driving me home to pick up my camera before the meeting, it threatened to rain and said something about "p.u.s.h" (pray until something happens) but later agreed that it should be "p.u.n.h" (pray until nothing happens!) haa...yup, thank God for stopping the slight drizzle that was gng on when we were having our worship & exhortation, just in time for games :)

although alan, dear & myself didn't get to play any of the games, we had lots of fun cheering them on (and of cos, teasing them when each grp of 10ppl had to move around with 6 chairs!) while leading the games. i'm really thankful for each one who came today. although kor's grp was kinda the "losing" team, i was impressed by their never-say-die spirit as i watched them fight on to complete the race although the other grp had already completed and "won" the game. thanks dearies, for being such a good sport! (and sorry for making u guys squeeze into 6 chairs instead!!!)

thank God also for a great time as we had our bbq on the roof garden! i really thank God for those who so willingly set the fire and helped bbq the food...i thank God also for all the silly 'intellectual' (yah rite!) games that we played while waiting for food and all...haa, and i must never forget this!: i like chicken wings but i dun like food, i like shoes but i dun like boots, i like swimming but i dun like pools...hahaharz...

anyway, i'd really like to thank the youths (allvina, alan, chill & dear) whom i went grocery shopping with last nite...and for coming over to marinate the chicken before gng back to church again to bring everything over tho it was so late...i thank God for you all...and for initiating this whole combined thinggie...i pray that Galilee's youths would not fail in coming together often to have fellowship one with another :)

to God be the glory!

Thursday, July 15, 2004

who am i?

i'm listening: Who Am I? -Point of Grace

"who am i? that you would love me so gently?
who am i? that you would recognise my name, Lord?
who am i? that you would speak to me so softly...
conversation with the Love most high, who am i?"

who am i? i just wanna be His servant, simply, someone He can use...tt's wat i wanna be. most impt of all, i wanna be who He wants me to be...

"amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. i once was lost but now i'm found, was blind but now i see."
and the more i sing that sweet old song, the more i understand, that i do not comprehend this love, tt's coming from Your hand.

indeed, i'm such a wretch yet i saw His grace. grace, grace, i am nothing without it...please Lord, let ric see it too...

i really wanna thank God for being my source of strength...the past few weeks at school would have been unbearable if not for Him. i pray that He will continue to give me strength, wisdom & the discipline to focus on school work and most imptly, Him.

went for prayer meeting and i learnt something tt i'd always use to remind myself when i fear, from now on...

"baa baa black sheep, have you any fear?"
"no sir, no sir, God is near."

i am that black sheep, without any fear cos God is near... :)

Sunday, July 11, 2004

"gwyyynetthhhh"

i'm listening to: One Boy, One Girl -Colin Raye

i feel that God's calling me. not "gwyyynetthhhh". but to serve Him on the mission fields. i dunno. i'm confused. i keep asking God if it's really the Holy Spirit speaking to me, or if it's just me. i talked to zer about it last nite and this morning's sermon was about serving Him on the mission fields. perfect timing.

but still...i'm left hanging there. wondering if it's really His will. i keep saying i'd go when the Lord calls. but now, i'm so afraid. afraid that if He really calls, i'd be reluctant to leave this comfort zone of mine, my family here, my friends here...and be disobedient to Him...

i've been talking about this whole thing actually. it became clearer to me tt if God really calls, i must go, esp after my trip to chiangmai. i saw how the missionaries there gave up all they had to serve the Lord. i was so encouraged by their testimonies and wished tt God would let me serve Him like them too...but i'm so confused now.

anyway...come to tink of it, i've still got to complete my diploma...so i've got a year before i really think about wat to do...haa...do keep me in prayer yah? i pray that God would show me clearly if it's really His will...thanks dearies...

hhmm...tmr's the start of a new week again...oh Lord, please give me strength...

"i can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" Philippians 4:13

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

grace-grower

i'm listening to: Look What You've Done -Jet

something unpleasant happened at sch this week. but am glad it happened cos i learnt something :) last week, it was agreed upon by my grp that i was to go to Lee & Lee for some law firm visit thinggie. but yesterday, i was told tt the tutor had taken my name out of tt list cos someone frm my grp was already gng. i was really upset cos i felt that this grpmate should have at least told me. i felt that it was just so unfair. so unfair that i had to be the one removed from the list. so unfair i had to give way and choose another law firm to go to. so unfair tt i hafta go for a make-up company law class cos of tt. sheesh...but looking back, i now see that God has His reasons...and wat He wants to teach me...

i called zer and talked abt it. am so glad i did cos she made me realise that instead of being mad at this grpmate, i should regard her as a "grace-grower" that God has placed in my life :) so now, whenever anyone makes me mad, i should try to remember not to let my emotions get the better of me. yup. "grace-growers". God places them in my life to teach me to be more gracious rather than get angry at ppl who make me upset. haa...i so thank God for this precious lesson learnt. it sure makes me a happier person :D

hmm...oh well, time to get back to work. i'm pretty worried abt not being able to get my work done on time, esp the writ of summons tt's due this friday! dearies...pls pray for me yah? toking abt dearies...DEAR!!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOUR CAMP TO END CAN!!! i've got so much to tell you........... :

Sunday, July 04, 2004

just wanted to say...

am so glad and i thank God tt i've settled things with him :)

Saturday, July 03, 2004

i need humilty!

i'm listening to: Love Crucified, Arose -Michael Card

hee...am gonna teach the kids at junior programme tt song tmr...thank God for josiah who agreed to help me play it on the guitar tmr... :)

today's been a really wonderful day. precepts study was really good today. learnt abt how adam & eve were given a choice and how they chose to disobey...indeed, we humans are just so weird. it's so obvious wat's good for us but so often we fall into temptations.

had a meeting with alan over dinner to discuss combined fellowsheep-gtf games day. was a fruitful meeting cos we got almost everything settled. just short of abt 2 games. so if any of u would like to suggest a game or 2, just come to me yah? haa...

youren agreed to come over to help me fix the wireless adapter thinggie at my home after dinner. and fiona wanted to borrow a tennis racket...so in the end, everyone else came over after dinner to chill out. i really thank God i had them over...it was really nice. esp after a long week at sch. and guess wat??? haa...charissa is now my lil sis! *bleah* coolness...i've been longing to have a sister u noe...i thank God for her, really...i just wanna thank God for this special girl He put into my life... :)

oh well...i'll have to talk to alex before service tmr...pls pray for me...i'm praying tt God will give me the courage...and HUMILITY (something i really really need) to ask for forgiveness...

Genesis 22:1-14