Genesis 22:1-14: January 2005

Monday, January 31, 2005

shall we dance?~~

thank God tt my divorce proj has been submitted : ) anyway, caught "shall we dance" with ms tay, shafiqa, chinchin, lena & yvonne (the lawyer & ppl from IP dept). was supposed to catch a movie with them during internship last month but this thinggie dragged till today cos they didn't find any of the movies last month worth watching...thank God for this opportunity to catch up with them. and those who hasn't caught this movie, go catch it!!! gee...makes me wanna dance. ms tay was telling me "go and learn! u're so young!" haa...i wish.

okay...this is crazy, but m still feeling happy from what my dearies did for me at church yesterday afternoon. looks like this will keep me gng for the rest of the week! haa...

and...i really wonder, will you even bother to talk to me ever again? *shruggs*

Sunday, January 30, 2005

sweet surprise

dear God, i wanna thank You for my friends! today, after service, they gave me a really wonderful surprise & i was really really touched! no wonder shelia was asking me to go to the fellowship hall. i just didn't understand why she was in such a hurry actually...and to tink i still went around church looking for auntie rosalind to help me with my divorce proj! haharz, i was surprised by a cake bought by joanne to celebrate my birthday in advance! i was pretty 'paiseh' when a grp of them started singing 'happy birthday' really loudly in the fellowship hall, in english den mandarin...with everyone else arnd looking in surprise, but put aside the paiseh-ness, i was really so touched, God : ) thank You, Father for these wonderful friends who have been such a blessing to me. they really made my day...esp when i had to spend the entire sunday afternoon rushing my projects...if not for them, i might have concluded today a pretty bad day!

God, i really thank You also for helping me complete my divorce proj...and for today's IP grp meeting too. m really sorry from the bottom of my heart, tt i had to work on sabbath day...but still, You allowed me to complete my work...thank You so much God, esp when i was panicking away in the media room when i ran out of paper! thank You for sending dn teo with a key to the office so i could get paper! thank You so much for being Jehovah Jireh!

in Jesus name i pray

p.s. thanks, all ye dearies who were there today! love you all to the core!

YF 'photoshoot' (29/1/05)

YFers - dinner at jec

lydia & me - orh kueh & chee cheong fan

me & alicia

believers in black (as shelia calls it, haharz)

btw, our dress code wasn't pre-arranged : )

Saturday, January 29, 2005

proj twinkle's photos

wizards thru the dragon trail~

the wizards!

me and my 'kid' : ) really sweet girl

proj twinkle

project twinkle

thank God for an opportunity to be involved in my dip's proj to bring kids from the children's homes to sentosa today : ) it has raised an awareness & reminder in me that there are so many kids out there who need to know God and tt He loves and cares for prayer is tt, God-willing, galilee YF would take up the challenge to start a proj like tt this year.

(btw, apri...if it was really me who made the sole of your adidas sandels fall off, m really sorry. and i really didn't mean to laugh while apologising! anyway, after all the flour and of cos, getting me drenched, we should be quits!)

m feeling really really excited abt YF now. i just tink tt this year's gonna be an exciting one for us YFers and i really thank God for His bountiful blessings upon this grp tt has grown in size, and perhaps, spiritually : ) i pray tt our Jehovah Jireh would continue to keep the zeal in each YFer gng! i'd like to praise & thank God also for each & every YFer who comes each week. they've truly been a blessing to me.

gee...i really enjoyed myself today, esp this evening. if any of you YFers are reading this, i wanna let you know tt i really cherish every moment spent with you guys : ) it's been a really long time since we had this after-YF-captain's ball-game-and-then-proceed-to-dinner thinggie...i sure hope & pray tt we'll continue to do this every week! oh yesh...send me the maaany photos we took today! i wanna post it here..haa : )

time's passing really quick for me. 5 weeks more to go at sch. it's been a really stressful week, but nevertheless, i thank God for His mercies, for being my source of Strength and of cos, thank God for time spent with ppl i love! : ) m tired physically, but m feeling so rejuvenated spiritually & emotionally after precious moments spent with friends! to Yaweh be the glory!
may this song be our prayer for the YF:

Father we ask of You this day,
come and heal our land.
Knit our hearts together,
that Your glory may be seen in us,
then the world will know,
that Jesus Christ is Lord!

Let us be one voice,
that glorifies Your name.
Let us be one voice,
declaring that You reign.
Let us be one voice,
in love & harmony
and we pray O Lord,
grant us Unity!

Friday, January 28, 2005

my 1st pair of mary janes

haaa...met fiona & mag to go shopping. call me a late adopter or wat, but i finally got my very first pair of mary janes! haa...but again, at least i found one tt's eh, pretty suitable...i don't seem to find anything nice & suits me...sad huh? oh well!~ hee...

okay...according to mag, "hee hee hee" is how a fish laughs. "heh heh heh" is how a prawn laughs. gee...if u get it, it's actually so so laaaame. haa...pardon me mag!

anyway, just wanna thank God for the time spent with mag & fiona amidst this crazily-busy week. and of cos, thank God i got to meet shelia too : ) while sitting at the food court with fiona, i suddenly missed the weekly lunch session some of us YTFers had after school back in sec sch days...different schs, yet we took time each fri to meet up for lunch. how i really miss it just seems so impossible to do such things again...

alrite...i actually told my mom abt him just now. her advice? pray abt it...hmm...but it sure feels good being able to talk to mommy abt such things...anyhow,i actually just realised how much easier it is to talk to mommy abt personal stuff as i grow well, it isn't tt bad tt this happened afterall~

Thursday, January 27, 2005


really...why did u even bother to tell me...u've made me confused. perhaps things would have been better if u didn't insist on how i felt...u know...i really tink tt was very selfish of you...u're making me feel misrable just so you won't get hurt? tot this would work things out? u've gotta be kidding...i just feel like i've lost a friend now...


it was all just a prank. pulled by apri...who never seems to have enough of making fun of me. i wonder why he never gets tired. ergh. oh well...but i guess i should be thankful to God tt it was just a prank...which means i'll still be with the kids : ) apri apri...sigh. i bet u'll read this...i dunno wat to say to you man.

anor thanksgiving...i managed to get an extension to submit my napfa exemption letter after i explained to the person-in-charge tt dr ho's not in town till sunday...woo, thank God : )

okay...m supposed to be doing my work so i'll keep this short. oh well...i so need sleep...

"i can do all things thru Christ Which strengtheneth me." phil 4:13

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

standing in the need of prayer

i really wanna be with the kids leh! i dun wanna spend the entire afternoon in sentosa running some stupid game stn, esp after sacrificing gng to YF...i feel so so so so sad & disappointed now can! tt sickening apri...why must be break the news now...m already having so much difficulty trying to get down to doing my it's worse...i totally can't concentrate. oh me help me help me...even if it's not Your will tt i'll get to mentor a kid on least comfort my heart...give me peace tt passes all understanding...sigh.

God...there's so much work to be done by this week...i never seem to be able to finish them...i really feel like m gonna be squashed underneath this whole load...and then this gerald is so weird. he's just so beyond comprehension sometimes. makes me feel so irritated and now we're not talking. and best thing? he's so insensitive. wat a retard!!! argghh...m whining too much!!! please God, will You just lighten my burden now...

alrite...alrite. i know m whining too much. but i just feel so much in my mind. and tmr's the last day to submit my exemption letter for napfa...and guess wat...dr ho's not in town till sunday. it's me O Lord, it's me O Lord, standing in the need of prayer!!!

"casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you." 1 peter 5:7

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Be still...

thank God for anor wonderful afternoon at YF. God has really blessed our YF with ppl who come with willing hearts each week. was really glad to see shelia & ss come back today too...still missing fiona...but i pray that the Lord will move her to come back and join us for fellowship again.

today's YF meeting was "surprise", led by 'cher. and there you go...the entry just before this, is a psalm written by me! haa...yupyup : ) m so thankful to God for all He has given me and for sure, i wouldn't wanna trade them for anything in the world.

shared with the YFers abt the article i read tt day...and how lydia had shared the new song today, not by chance, but by the will of God...for i believe tt He was reminding us to be still, and know that He is God.
Hide me now...
Under Your wings...
Cover me,
Within Your mighty hand.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar,
I will soar with You above the storm.
Father You are King over the flood.
I will be still, and know You are God.

Find rest my soul...
In Christ alone...
now His power...
In quietness and trust.

psalm of gwyneth

v.1- My parents are Mr & Mrs Michael Van, for God's mercy endures forever.
v.2- 4th of Feb 1985, God gave me breath, for God's mercy endures forever.
v.3- I am a Chinese, for God's mercy endures forever.
v.4- I am a Singaporean, for God's mercy endures forever.
v.5- I am a female, for God's mercy endures forever.
v.6- I am the second-born in my family, for God's mercy endures forever.
v.7- I have two wonderful brothers,
one elder and one younger, for God's mercy endures forever.
v.8- I am created in the image of God,
beautiful, not to the world but in His eyes, for God's mercy endures forever.
v.9- Wisdom & creativity all God-given, for God's mercy endures forever.
v.10- Time goes by and I'll die one day, for God's mercy endures forever!


spent the whole afternoon with Best Friend at ikea before we met up with allvina in the evening. i went home when they went for yws rehearsal to have my dinner & get some stuff done. well, got to spend time with my i guess it's been a pretty fruitful day...and thank God for that! just got home from a wonderful supper fellowship with 'cher, Best Friend, allvina, dear & surprisingly, daniel chia! but after all that we said and did to tt poor boy in the car, i doubt he'll still wanna come out with us ever again!

just read a friend's blog and funny, it's affecting me quite a bit. i can't help feeling upset...i really pray that God will not allow her to be influenced by the ppl she chooses to be with...i dunno if she'll ever read this, but i really want her to know that she means a lot to me...and i hope she'll be able to discern right from wrong...

alrite...i just invited eugene for yws but when i got home, i saw a msn msg from him saying he's got driving test & all...thank God for allowing him to get his marksman badge or watever tt is...but i really wished he could attribute his achievement to God...those of you who know him, please pray along with me for him yah? : )

Thursday, January 20, 2005

baking session with mrs heng!

wheee! today's prolly the best and most fruitful day of my term break week : ) got up in the morning to be at mrs heng's at 10am to bake! haaa...and guess wat?? i learnt to bake new stuff again today! anor item to be added on my cafe's menu! haaa...

1. baked oreo italian cheese cake
2. cappucino biscuits

heh...and i actually managed to go swimming today, before gng back to mrs heng's to eat the cheese cake and biscuits : ) i reeeeally thank God for the sunshine today!

had a wonderful evening with josiah, eve & mag at breko's last nite...and they had 50% off! i only paid $2 plus for my caramel twist lo! whahahaha : D

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

to God

dear God...m so sorry. m really so sorry about this God. i really dunno wat to do except to cry out to You now. becos of my big mouth, everything seems to have gone wrong. i now feel that i shouldn't have told mommy abt the incident tt happened a year ago. but i felt really unhappy when luz smsed my mom to borrow $300. Lord, m so angry becos she always uses this trick to gain sympathy from daddy and mommy. she used the same trick to beg my dad not to tell my mom abt the $900 phonebill. i probably wouldn't have told mommy abt it if she didn't try asking for $300. i decided to break the news to mommy becos m so sick of keeping this thing from her. i dun want to hide anything from mommy anymore. m so tired God. tell me wat to do please. God are u listening to me? i feel so sorry abt telling mommy. i didn't know she'd react this way. i feel so bad for daddy. daddy & me had and still have no intention to keep this from her. we only wanted to wait for the right time to tell her. but she doesn't understand God. why won't You make her understand? why won't You make her see that daddy and i were just afraid she couldn't take it. You know it why won't u let her understand? God i know You will...but it's just so hard to wait. why not now God...i feel so bad for my daddy heart aches really does. i really can't imagine daddy having to face it all alone...he's all alone overseas and probably very bothered abt it now. wat am i to do God? darrell tried telling mommy to go easy on daddy...but he got scolded. real bad. i'm so sorry abt darrell too...God...You're reading this aren't You? God...You're my Comfort and my pillar of Strength...i know You'll help me...just maybe take away this sadness and guilt? wat m i to do abt auntie luz too? i feel so bad knowing that she's not gonna be back working for us again...i feel that it's all my fault God. imagine being told we don't need her back anymore us solve this thing in Your way Lord. please do...that Your name will not be disgraced but glorified thru our actions Lord. sadness will go God...but forgiveness, is just so hard.

in Jesus name i pray

Monday, January 17, 2005


yay! really thank God for seeing me through the completion of my internship report! this is now my 3rd week back in sch but m already on term break. went all the way to sch to submit the report and realised tt heyy, ppl are actually having their terms tests now man! haa...ain't i blessed : )

anyway, caught 'alfie' with ric today (becos 'my brother' wasn't being screened when we got to cine). alfie's this british philosophical womaniser in new york city who only wants to lead a carefree lifestyle. a typical jerk whose life evolves just around wine and women. a show with sexual contents, maybe some bad language and drugs...but as u watch on, u'll see alfie starting to find that there are serious consequences to his carefree lifestyle, like losing his best friend and of course, the women who used to do so much for him, started to leave him...and finally, seeing that he has nothing left, asks himself what has he got...and wat's it all about. i'd actually recommend this show cos it actually makes one think. and hey, there's more to life that just making merry.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

2nd YF meeting : )

just thank God for anor wonderful YF meeting today : ) m very encouraged that more ppl have been coming and new faces included too! thank God also for an opportunity to attend Calvary YF's anniversary, it's very encouraging to see so many youths at their YF & i pray that ours would grow too! but of cos, not just in size but in spiritual maturity : ) anyway, congratulations to the Calvary YFers! may the Lord continue to bless them as they seek to know Christ & to make Him known!

heh. jaime, me & Best Friend being cheeky!

Friday, January 14, 2005


qualities required for an international arbitrator:
- legal skills (for sure i have tt.)
- language capability (let's see. i speak english & mandarin. maybe a lil french)
- personality (hmmm...heh heh heh)

- experience (aw c'mon...there's always a 1st time)
- common sense (well, m definitely not nonsensical!)

cool. i qualify as an international arbitrator! *bleah*

to God

dear God...
i just didn't know who to pour this out to. but thankfully i've got You. Lord, how is it tt the ppl i cherish so much, seem to be the ones who take me for granted the most? ppl might say tt m just being over-sensitive...but m sure God, tt You know how i really feel...i've always asked myself this qn: they're the grp of ppl i cherish the most, but do they feel the same way? seems to me it's not, God...becos even the friend i cherished most...makes me feel taken for granted the most. i just feel tt this whole "dear" thing is just a facade...cos m definitely not as impt to her as in the past anymore...or was i, in the first place? God...i am feeling so so so dejected. disappointed...and yes, i can't say m unwanted...cos there's You...but You know God, i've been trying so hard to not allow myself get upset when she disappoints me. i tell myself it's becos she has many friends, lots of work...she's really busy...but really, is it tt difficult to just give me a little, really oh-so-little of her time? perhaps m trying too hard to be her friend. m just deluding myself, ain't i? i really have tried. but i's just too much for me to bear....right now, all i can thank You for, is for loving me. I love You too God. thanks for being the only One who will never change. amen.

Monday, January 10, 2005

my ex-colleagues

...and now my friends : )
okay...i suddenly really miss steph and elizabeth...i just thank God for them...they've made my internship really fun : )

elizabeth, me & steph on 31/12/04 in the litigation dept

me & steph

me, lena & shafiqa from IP dept

the 3 interns - muizz, dixon & me

Sunday, January 09, 2005

4B'01 gathering

thank God for a time to catch up with my sec4 classmates at east coast park today...hmm. but i tot it'd be better if it was dinner at some place like...marche? (just a suggestion!) : D

Saturday, January 08, 2005

our 1st YF meeting

praise the Lord for a really blessed time of fellowship among the youths this was really heartwarming to see so many 'new' keith & kevin liang, alicia ng, magdalene simon, stephanie...i really thank God for moving the hearts of those who came today : )

thank God also for the creativity, time & effort of darrell & lydia, with the help of annabel in games-planning...i must say i really enjoyed myself playing the games! it's been a long time since the older youths like me, dear or ss could actually sit back and be participants of the games...thank God tt the younger youths are now taking over these responsibilities!

the wacko game-with-a-twist we played today actually made me see something in us humans. in this game, 2 circles are formed - an inner circle & an outer one. only the names of the ppl in the inner circle will be called. the duty of the ppl on the outer circle, who will be standing behind each person on the inner circle, is to be the voice of the one sitting down. so when the person's name is called, he/she cannot call for anor name. the person behind him/her will have to do if the person is slow, too bad for the one who has been wacked.

now...this game actually makes u see how we as humans are so used to just defending, or protecting ourselves. we are quick to defend (and in the case of wacko, call out anor person's name) ourselves...but when it comes to doing it for others, we tend to be less on the alert. there's this, you know, selfish nature in us?

but i must also highlight what ss did during the game. i was pretty surprised actually. when youren's name was being called, ss was not fast enough in calling out anor person's name...but before the person with the stick could wack youren, ss actually moved quickly to block the person from hitting youren, and as a result got wacked himself. i hate to admit this (cos it's ss!!! argggghhh! haharz), but yeah, i tot tt act was pretty selfless : ) isn't this what we as Christians should be like? anyway...m a making sense? haa...but anyway, just thank God for this really small but impt lesson i got from the game...

had a really crazy refreshment session...all the junk food...and the ice-cream was the worst! we got a tub of ice cream and kept squeezing hershey's chocolate topping all over it...after eating the top layer, we'd add anor 'sinful'!

anyway...just wanna once again, thank God for the wonderful time i had with my fellow brothers/sisters-in-Christ today...Hallelujah!

Friday, January 07, 2005

5 happy girls

eating ice cream (ok, ignore this. lazy to explain). just wanna thank God for a really wonderful evening with allvina, luvena, eve & ric...(missing mag tho!)

really cool how we ended up spending fri evening together. eve & i were at the bus stop opp la salle sia at abt 4plus and all of a sudden someone called my name...and it was luvena! cool. luvena (who studies at la salle) was really surprised to see us there (cos not many galileans actually hang arnd in the eastern part of singapore??) and we ended up gng to suntec meet ric. and we remembered allvina was just working nearby so we called her too~ haa...really wonderful how God brings His ppl together for fellowship eh? *winks*

anyway...had a discussion with eve at her dad's place this afternoon. i was telling her abt a discussion between me & a friend abt the trinity...and abt this article he sent me. the author was contesting the fact tt our God is a triune God - Father, Son & Holy Ghost. the more i read frm the Bible, the more m convinced tt this guy is either blaspeming, or he's confused himself. gen 1:26 says "and God said, Let US make man in OUR image...". notice it's "US" and not "me"...but the author of the said article contested tt and said tt God could be talking to the angels. but here's the catch. angels aren't made in the image of God. only men are : )

moreover, in matthew 3:16-17, the baptism of Jesus is mentioned. if the Trinity doesn't exist, den how can it be tt Jesus was being baptised here on earth, while the Holy Spirit descended and rested on the shoulder of Jesus in the form of a dove, and God from Heaven saying "this is my beloved son, in whom i am well pleased" ?!

so how's this guy gonna counter tt? but again...he doesn't owe us any explanation...but when he meets his Creator, he'll have lots of explaining to do : )

Wednesday, January 05, 2005


praise the Lord! i've finally made a decision regarding what to do after graduation : )

ms tang has already offered me a place in the kindergarten, so i believe tt's an opened door & i thank God for that. 'cher's rite...God's not that cruel...why would He instill in me this passion for kids, and not let me have anything to do with them? : D

also...i've come to realise that it's definitely not by chance that m taking law now. my God is a God who never makes mistakes. He never moves without purpose or plan! i believe that God has a reason for allowing me to do yeah, i have decided that i shall obey my parents! (esp since God speaks thru them!)

so...i spoke to mom after i got home from prayer meeting. i've decided (and given the permission from my authorities to) teach kindergarten, and at the same time do a part-time law degree! wheee...God is good!

but again...all's not confirmed yet...cos i really don't know what the future holds...but one thing's for sure, my God does! so...into Your hands, O Lord!

rachel's tears

rachel scott was a typical teenage girl who was incredibly dedicated to following and serving Christ. Though she was mocked for her beliefs, at times doubted her faith, and constantly struggled with personal issues every teenager faces, she remained faithful to God. She wanted to live for Christ and her life to be an impact for God.

rachel had this intimate relationship with God, so close in her walk with Him tt she knew she didn't have much time. in her journal she wrote "this will be my last year Lord. i have gotten what i can. thank you.". that very year, on april 20, 1999, during the columbine high school tragedy, rachel died for her faith.

what really impressed me abt rachel was her walk with God. her dedication and willingness to serve Christ, and totally submit to Him. reading "rachel's tears", a book on the spiritual journey of this columbine martyr, has taught and reminded me of many impt lessons. she was always gng to God and asking Him to use her...have i been allowing God to do tt abt my life? and one impt thing that we should all remember: tomorrow is not a promise, but a chance.

the fact tt m still alive this very moment is purely by the grace of God...and when i die, will the Lord be able to say to me, "well done, good & faithful servant!" ?

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

start of my last sem

yup. m finally back at school after 11 weeks of internship : ) felt great being a student & seeing my friends once again! sch was not bad...perhaps cos m pretty positive abt it, knowing that God's gonna be with me : )

met up with eve in town to look for stuff (oh yes, she'd like me to incl tt she's right beside me yeah...) m pretty happy. went to 3 life bookshops (yes, eve would like me to incl this too) before finally getting this guide book "simple living for teens". ok...yaya, i know i won't be a teen in less than a month...hmm...but i still tink it's more apt. plus...hey, i'm still a 16-yr-old at heart!!! heh

anyway, do uphold me in prayer...lotsa work (really really lots) with less time...pray for strength & wisdom : ) have a blessed week, darlings!

Monday, January 03, 2005

non excusat, really.

okaaaaay. tot i'd go for a jog after catching true files. but when i got to the park, there was this dog sniffing wasn't all. this man seemed to be following me as i ran into the darker areas of the park. well...i sure ran. all the way home.
alrite...i know i shouldn't have been afraid and trusted God. but again, i should not put God to the test. knowing tt it isn't too safe to run at such an unearthly hour, i guess i made the right choice afterall...hmm. -.-"

Saturday, January 01, 2005

welcome 2005!

m pretty hopeful abt this year becos i know for sure tt God's with me - always : ) m posting this, it's actually already 2nd jan, 12.21am...but becos i sooo desperately want the date 1st jan 2005 to appear on my blog, i decided to doctor the date & timing...heh heh heh.'s been a reeeeally good start. started the first day of the year off at a church leaders prayer conference the whole morning, followed by the first YF ex-co meeting...i intended to go home and sleep but ended up hanging arnd in the fellowship hall...and eventually gng to marina south to watch (yes, watch) some Fellowsheep ppl bowl...thank God for an opportunity to chat with allvina & ruth...
anyway, i've finally caught Ocean's Twelve today...with gerald. but a pity i couldn't have dinner with the Fellowsheep ppl! oh well...guess there'll be anor chance...
today's the first day without luz jie jie...she's gone back to the philippines to get month without a maid...just pray i'd be able to cope...well, guess it's a good opportunity for me to learn to be independant!