Genesis 22:1-14: April 2005

Friday, April 29, 2005

3 cheers for doctor zerlina!

wheeee! it's friday! and it's a long weekend cos mon's a public hol! well-deserved break :D m feeling so tired today...from school & all the packing at home. well...just thank God for the kids at sch who have been such a joy...tho some of them tend to get really disobedient at times...just praying tt the Lord will teach them obedience & continue to give me patience as i work with them.

zer's sms in the morning really made my day. "I passed my exams! I'm effectively qualified! :) " there you go, free consultation for me whenever i feel unwell from now on. haharz...anyway, praise God for seeing zer thru her studies in ireland! m really happy tt it's finally over for her. (btw zer, if you ever read this: please come back asap...don't you tink of staying there) can't wait for her to get back : ) yup, 3 cheers for my doctor zerlina lim! *hugs*

learnt something at teachers' fellowship (tt's wat i decided to call it. haha) today. the next time i face a problem, instead of saying "God, i've got a big problem.", say "problem, i've got a big God." eh? really comforting to know tt no matter how big a problem i face, it can never ever be bigger than my God.

anyway, just tot i'd share a joke 'cher shared with me & know, man just want to play God and think tt they can do watever God can. God created adam by taking soil & moulding it into a man, then breathing air into him. this man decided he'd try and create a man too. so he took some soil & started moulding it into the shape of a man. when he was finally done, just as he was abt to try blowing into the mould, there came a voice from heaven saying "USE YOUR OWN SOIL!"

any of you still tink you can create something out of nothing? well, my God did : )

Thursday, April 28, 2005

my new bedroom

thank God for a new bedroom! new furniture & air-con too! haa...really thank God for the air-con, esp when the weather's been so crazy these days. tt the furniture's all done up, it's time for packinggggg...just pray tt God will give me strength to do so, and an organised mind to pack my things back into my room...

thank God also for a wonderful evening spent with mrs heng, bro nat, sis pat, john john & geof! the heng family brought dear & i out to taka for dinner at crystal jade & i really thank God for the time of fellowship together. thank God for bro nat & sis pat who have always been so nice to us...m really gonna miss them. even more more more now...john & geof are really 2 adorable & affectionate kids. love it when they rest their heads on my shoulder...ahhhhhhhhhh...'s been a great thursday for me. one more day at work & it's the weekend already : ) and mag's back from shanghai! thank God! to any of you who would like to pray for me, pls pray tt the kids at sch would learn obedience & tt all of us teachers would have the strength, wisdom & patience as we deal with the kids...yup, praise God for a beautiful day!

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

don't be fooled.

satan is a deceiver. he didn't allow eve to know that he was the one talking through the snake in genesis 3:1. satan is deceitful & wicked. he hates man. he knows tt he is lying. john 8:44 says tt satan is a liar and a murderer. his name means "deciever" or "accuser" & tt's exactly wat he tries to do. he tries to make wat is good appear useless or evil & wat is evil appear good. he tries to infer tt God is lying, but he knows only too well tt God's word is absolutely true.

even today, satan still deceives ppl. his motives & his deceitful tactics haven't changed & he's still trying to decieve & destroy ppl. he doesn't use a serpent like he did with eve, but he uses whatever ways & tactics ppl will accept. many times, satan deceives ppl by speaking lies into their minds. when satan does tt, he doesn't let them know tt he is the one who is speaking to them. they tink tt the thoughts in their minds are their own. but it is really satan who is putting the thoughts into their minds. satan will speak to you even when you are listening to God's word. he may put a question into your mind, like "why should i believe the bible?" satan doesn't want anybody to know or to believe God. he hates God & hates God's word, even though satan knows tt it is true! sometimes, satan uses other ppl through whom he speaks his lies to us. these ppl may knowingly follow satan, or they may be decieved, like eve. satan tries to make following these ppl very attractive to us, even though it is the way of eventual death. he tries to make us feel tt we will miss out on something if we don't follow along & tt it is more impt for us to follow a wrong leader or a wrong crowd rather than risk our friends by doing wat we know is right. satan may also reach us through anor area of our own pride. we may not want to identify with the crowd but instead want to be more wise than everyone else & be very self-sufficient. satan has brought many ppl to destruction through the lie tt says man can be independent of God & do as he pleases becos he is so intelligent & capable (humanism). most ppl have no desire to follow things tt are obviously satanic. but many ppl are becoming more involved in more subtle things tt actually have satan as their focus. beware of anything tt makes you look to power other than God for answers to life, anything tt exalts or gives a good, pleasant, or attractive connotation to anything tt is evil, games or music or other entertainment tt exalt killing or lying or stealing or filthy language or immorality, or anything tt denies God's existence or even "waters down" the bible. all these kinds of things are authored by satan& he is the one behind them, no matter how innocent or popular or harmless they might seem.

tt's just a part of this evening's "firm foundations" class. i tink God was really speaking to me when 'cher had me read tt passage. whilst reading, i realised tt i've been allowing satan to fill my mind with lies, hoping tt i'd be distracted from God. all the things tt have been happening to me, esp the friend who has been making things difficult for me, are just tools tt satan has been using to cloud my tots. i decided tt i will not allow him to do tt & focus on the promises of God instead. i just pray tt God will give me the strength to do tt, and grace to forgive tt friend & of cos, wisdom & the eyes to see the bigger picture -God's big plan for me.

help me Lord

i pray You'll help me stop feeling this way...i try reminding myself tt nothing matters so long as i have You...but sometimes i guess i just forget and fall into the trap of lies...i don't understand why what she's doing is making wonder if she really treasures me as a friend or just a tool...becos i know m not supposed to allow things of this earth to distract me from You. i try so hard to turn to You but this feeling of unwantedness & solitude floods my heart oh-so-often. sometimes i can't help but wonder how it'd be like if i got hit by a car or something. perhaps it'd be better if i suffer from a loss of memory and forgot everyone around me? but will i still remember You God? pls make sure i do if tt happens. help me Lord to remember tt it's enough to have You love me...cos deep inside i know tt harsh yet so comforting truth: only Your love for me is unchanging. life's so tiring...but m glad You're there. help me draw strength from Jesus most precious name i pray Lord, amen.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

chill out day

haa...cos tt's wat i did all day after church today. had a great lunch with ric (so happy she came to church!), fiona, ss, shaun, daniel (as in eve's bro), josiah and dear (haven't had lunch with her in a long time!!!)!

met allvina when we got back to church so ric & i asked her to join us at holland v for coffee...too bad we didn't chill out at essential brew cos the second floor was closed :( but it was really fun just chatting away at coffee club express too, & m glad ric finally didn't feel left out! best of all, allvina & i convinced her to join us at church camp! haa...and of cos, the "uno-stacko-brownie-with-ice-cream" (as ric calls it) was great too...hee : )

had planned to meet melissa & jh at 4pm so ric came along to meet them too : ) and so...for the second time today, i sat down for a drink at a cafe...haa...(with the money spent at the 2 cafes today, i tink i can actually buy 8 packets of chicken rice leh!) maybe i should just buy some canned coffee & get them to come to my place next time...hee hee. anyway, tink it's prolly the first time m hanging out with jh & mel on a sunday!!! haa...after like 3 years together in poly??? oh well...better late than never. and thanks mel, for the pink bear! haaa...

i thank God for a good time i got to spend with friends : ) and i just realised,'s time to spend some time with mommy too...

thank God also for today's sermon at yws. it's been a really great reminder: judge not, that ye be not judged. it's so true tt we often judge ppl without looking at ourselves...and forget tt with what judgement we judge others, we shall also be judge in the same way...i pray tt from today's msg, i'd be able to remind myself not to judge others or form perceptions of them so quickly...and remind myself too, tt God is our ultimate Judge : )

Friday, April 22, 2005

much to thank God for

thank God for my job at the kindergarten. the past 2 weeks have been wonderful. it's tiring but i thank God for a job tt brings me joy and allows me to have a l'il more time for myself. thank God for strength - something i so really need - for each new day. thank God for friends who keep me in prayers - really appreciate tt a lot.

thank God for the reassurance tt He's ever with me...and the reminder tt i don't have to worry abt ppl leaving me becos i have Jesus. m glad i have Him to turn my eyes upon, becos when i do so, the things of earth just grow strangely dim...

thank God for the opportunities to meet up with shelia this week. it's been quite a while since i got to spend some time with this dearrrr of mine who means so much to me. (well...afterall, i may hafta depend on her someday since she has promised never to let me go hungry.)

anyway, thank God for helping me accept the amount i'd be paid at the kindergarten. tt's something i've been praying abt, and tt i'll be able to trust God to provide for me even if it's really bad. best of all, God has given me more than what i tot the kindergarten would give me : ) so praise God.

thank God also for the chance to spend the evening with my john john! bro nat & family were gng to the airport to recieve rev ong. i was playing with john john after work so bro nat & sis pat asked if i would like to go "on a ride" with them! haa...really thank God for the time spent with them. i really enjoyed myself this evening, just before gng back to church to meet the YWS team for a rehearsal.

still got so much to thank God for but m really tired now...anyway, just wanna sum up today's entry by thanking God for a really good week i've had : ) and Christ we have the victory!

Saturday, April 16, 2005

i feel so cheated

last nite, luz jie jie placed the hp i lent her, on my desk and told me she has returned it. this morning, i tink she told me in the cab tt she has returned it to me or something like tt as well. but when i got home this morning, after returning from seeing her off at the airport, i realised tt my hp wasn't on the desk anymore...and this huge envelope for my result slip, which i had threw on the floor, was used to cover the area where my hp was supposed to be. m feeling so cheated cos all of us at home have done what we could for luz jie jie after hearing abt her sorry plight. my mom gave her a sum of money to start a business, and even gave her a hp last nite since she was supposed to return mine to me. i've told her clearly the hp has got sentimental value to me becos she brought it home with her on her last trip without telling me. well...looks like she just didn't get it. she's gone for good and if she really took the hp, i can never get it back. tell me. wat should i do, Lord? sometimes i really wonder if it pays to be nice? God, m hoping tt m so wrong abt her taking it. i really hope You help me find it somewhere...but really, where else can it be? i've searched the entire house in vain...there i was, feeling really sad tt she's gone home. but now, m also feeling angry towards her for cheating me of my hp, my feelings.

Thursday, April 14, 2005


finally caught tt show : ) thanks dear, for watching it with me! well, i haven't been waiting for this show in definitely is a movie worth watching.

thank God for my 2nd day at the kindergarten. i've started work there offcially and i thank God for this opportunity to work with kids. great colleagues too, all the staff are Christians (how cool eh?)...thank God also for a great Christian working environment. all the teachers meet at 8.15am to pray before the day begins & i thank God for tt : ) i mean, wat better way to start the day with?

learnt something pretty interesting today. for my class, we're not allowed to send kids out of the class no matter how naughty the kids get. m taking pre-nursery btw...and it's a rule the government set tt we're not to even make the kids stand outside the class cos they're still young. much for our threats to send them out if they're naughty - all just empty threats...haa. oh well. tt's a privilege you get as a 2-year-old i guess. *winks*

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

i'm scared.

i really m scared. luz jie jie is leaving this sat. and for once, m really scared tt she's leaving. cos she's not coming back to take care of me anymore. there's nobody to hear me cry. nobody to take care of me in the middle of the nite when m sick. nobody to open the door when m home. i'll come home to an empty home from mon onwards. nobody to prepare lunches for me when i return. nobody to laugh at stupid things with me. nobody to complain to. nobody to shield me should anyone at home tries to hit me. nobody sleeping with me in my room at nite. nobody to argue with. nobody to appreciate me playing the piano. just nobody there for me...ppl tell me Jesus is there. i know it too...but they don't know it's different. i wish somehow God would change things for me. let luz jie jie stay. i don't want to be alone...i don't want to cry alone. like m doing now. God, my heart is aching from lots of fear...will You help me?

Sunday, April 10, 2005

thank you, gentlemen!

thank God for jonathan, josiah, johnathan, alex, & youren who came over after recording to help move my old furniture out of my room. our YF guys are reeeeally strong : ) love you guys. i really appreciate the help. thanks : ) thank God also for eve, fiona & jaime who came along to keep me company...i really had fun with them all around.

lots to thank God for this week. i've got my results. by God's grace & mercy, i passed all my modules. m so grateful to God for seeing me thru this again. if there's one thing i've benefitted from my 3 years in poly, it'd be learning not to doubt God. my God is a faithful God Who will see me thru everything and even if things are beyond hope, God has the power to let me pass : ) glory to God in the highest!!!

well, m supposed to start work tmr...but becos m still very unwell, i can't. or the l'il kids will get sick. wat a bad start eh? i just pray tt God will heal me soon...m feeling really uncomfortable even as i type this...

my poor beloved ss is unwell too! haa...called him to tease him abt the telepathy between us. anyway, i just pray tt God will make him well soon too...

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

cheesecake : )

thank God for bringing melissa, jiahui, yenting & jade over to my place for lunch today! m really honoured to play host to ppl coming frm bedok, ponggol, woodlands and eunos~ *lol* m sure it was a wonderful experience for them to go thru wat i've been gng thru the past 3 years, every single weekday? haa...but hey, they were rewarded with my cooking lehh...well, they actually came just to try my cookies & cream cheesecake but i tot it was kinda crazy to travel almost 2 hours just to eat cheesecake, so i decided to throw in spaghetti & all those stuff as well : ) anyway, i really thank God for the wonderful time spent with them today, eating and watching the ultra pirated vcds yenting got for us! o boy, "the pacifier" wasn't tt bad, but "the eye 10" was really a horrible pirated copy la. it had ppl walking up and down, standing right in front of the cam, etc. best of all, mel, yenting & i had already watched it in KL & realised tt lotsa parts have been cut out. to tink tt the guy who sold it to yenting told her "anything wrong u can bring back". yah rite. all the way to jb just to tell tt guy he's got poor videoing skills.

squash was good too...esp after all the stuff i've been eating the past 2 or 3 weeks. and kudos to eve, she's the 1st ever to hit me with a squash racket! poor shin.

much has been happening. not even my friends would prolly realise m gng thru a not-so-good time i guess...but i've learnt from all these (esp wat happened to auntie luz), tt there's no one you can ever absolutely trust in this world. no one except God. and if you find someone who, (prolly at the end of your lifetime) proves himself/herself worthy to be trusted, you're really one blessed person. and be very grateful to God for tt. pls be.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

YF 12th annivesary

praise God for seeing the YF thru anor year! this is our 1st time celebrating our birthday as a Youth Fellowship (formally known as GTF, formally known as YTF!)...indeed God has been really faithful to the YF and has definitely blessed us!

thank God for seeing me (chairperson), youren (projectionist), josiah & daniel (guitarists) through the programme! thank God also for jaime who saw to our refreshments, tink she did a great job! of cos, thank God for mrs heng's love for us through the cheesecakes! haa...and also for auntie anna who prepared some stuff for us too : ) thank God for darrell & josiah who did a wonderful job in leading us in an ice-breaker. thank God for bringing our fellow brothers/sisters-in-Christ from moriah & nazareth to come share our joy on this special occasion. well, the list can go on and on...but most impt of all, i thank our Almighty God who deserves all glory for this wonderful afternoon!

the YF has been through much trials & tribulations. we've seen tears and lots of squabbles big and small, but i thank God for each one of them He puts us though, for is it through these tt we're taught patience, and to learn and care for each other more. God has definitely brought us as a YF far, but my prayer for the YF is tt we will not be conceited with what God has made us to be or given to us and remain stagnant. i pray tt the song "still upward on" would always be a pledge for the YF. most impt of all, tt we would always seek to do only the things tt glorifies God and should any man give us praise, we'll always remember to give God the due glory.

to God be the glory, great things He hath done!

thank God also for a good time of fellowship at nelson's 21st birthday bbq. poor fella, got dunked into the pool twice until auntie hwee lee came to rescue him by telling his friends "don't play too much huh"...haaa. anyway, a very blessed 21st birthday to nelson, in advance. may he continue to grow in wisdom & stature of the Lord!

Friday, April 01, 2005

KL trip

m so glad to be home. i really thank God for bringing me home safely. believe it or not...i missed home. and the ppl around me. anyway, m not gonna go into great details abt my trip...but here's just some stuff worth remembering, or rather, simply those tt i remembered.

mon, 28th march 2005
arrived in KL around 3+ in the afternoon. checked into ancasa hotel. was really impressed by lydia's ability to lead the whole grp of us (melissa, jiahui, yenting, sally, kherwei, darryl, zacky, fabian, aaron) from golden mile complex, singapore, all the way to our hotel in malaysia. without her, we'd prolly have been lost. thank God for lydia : ) had bak kut teh for dinner with the whole grp, and if m not wrong, tt was prolly the first and last time we sat together as a group for a meal. celebrated jiahui & zacky's birthday. was sitting on the floor of yenting's hotel room and felt the hotel swaying. kept asking melissa to stop shaking the bed cos i was leaning against it. but realised it wasn't her. fabian came into the room and as he stood there, i saw him swaying. darryl said tt tmr's headlines would prolly be about some earthquake somewhere, but we didn't have to wait till tmr. i saw it on the news when i was back in my room. just felt really protected by God...

tue, 29th march 2005
God prolly put me on a trip with these 4 guys from school to make me realise how i've been taking the church guys i've grown up with for granted, and most imptly, how gentlemanly my church guy friends are. suddenly, i really missed them a lot and wanted so much to tell them how much i thank God for putting them into my life.
anyway, had a really good breakfast. lydia brought melissa, jiahui, sally & i to a nice place for tim sum. finally met up with jielin for the first time since we arrived in KL.

wed, 30th march 2005
woke up early to walk over to the nearby Macs with melissa & jiahui for breakfast. boy, the milkshake was horrible. anyway, we did lots of shopping. really a lot. i was really tired. was a lil bored becos m really not the kind who can stand staying in a shop for too long. but yeah...thank God the shopping's all over and m happily sitting at my com typing away... :D
anor incident just made me miss my church guy friends even more...anyway, i spoilt kor's canon ixus 500 when my bag dropped on the toilet floor. was really mad cos it wouldn't have happened if the hooks in their toilets weren't so lousy (it was spoilt! argh!). was asking God desperately why He allowed such a thing to happen to me. finally calmed down and asked tt something good was gonna come out of it. it sure did. kor said it's okay (and when i got home, he didn't give me the scolding i so deserved). in short, i saw the compassionate & forgiving side of my older bro. thank God for tt.
anyway, jielin, sally & i went to the eatery beside our hotel to get ramly burgers for a few of us. it was yummy. also tried 'luk luk' at a roadside stall beside the hotel...boy, it was great : )

thu, 31st march 2005
the bus had some problems and we were stuck in yong peng - this food centre or some rest stop in malaysia, really far from JB - and spent almost 2 hours waiting on the bus. 1 bus driver offered to drive us back to singapore on the condition tt we paid anor 3 ringgit. no way, i was asking him why should we bear the consequences of a problem we didn't create. prayed abt it, and thank God, we got to get onto a bus tt was willing to take us back to singpapore. felt real sian tt we had to take such a lousy bus when we paid for a good one, but eventually realised tt i should be grateful i even got to get on to anor bus instead of waiting for anor few hours there.

i really thank God for bringing me home...i really am. i wouldn't say tt this has been a great trip, but i thank God for the wonderful time i spent with melissa, jiahui, sally, lydia & jielin. and of cos, i thank God for the many lessons learnt on this trip.