Genesis 22:1-14: August 2004

Sunday, August 29, 2004

a note to some ppl

just a note to some ppl out tell them i really appreciate them and thank God for them...

thanks ziming...for all your reminders...for using God's word to comfort me. although u expect me to pay u $9.90 per hour, made me smile and i really appreciate it.

for calling and giving me encouragement. am so sorry abt tt sms thing. my fone's weird and didn't show your name so i didn't know it was from you...

also for dear...who's always there reminding me to obey my dad, and most imptly, God...and for always praying for you dear...thank God for you...

for always keeping me in your prayers...and for always checking if i'm alrite. like by checking my blog when u tink i'm not telling u wat's gng on...

my dad, my papa... know, i just want to let you know that it's really not your fault and i've never blamed you. i believe that you have my best interests at heart and tt God's just putting me to the test. that is, whether or not to obey you, and ultimately God Himself...please don't tink that u've put me in a difficult position. i know u care. i love you papa...

my mommy...
i know you care...that's why u came down just to ask if i could handle tmr's call to the u too mommy...i don't show it well, but i do appreciate your thoughtfulness...thanks for ur advice too.

obeying is tough

i'm so tired now...emotionally...just talked to 'cher on the fone cos i needed advice on wat to say tmr when i call the law firm. i've come to a decision. and that decision is to respect dad's advice...

i now know how what it really means to make a choice to obey my parents & God...even when the other alternative seems so good. i cried a great deal. my heart aches, but i'm sure God my Jehovah Shammah will be there for me and i thank Him for this testing that He has brought me to...

what i learnt:
1. it's all my fault. i should have taken down dad's instructions & not take it for granted.
2. i should have sent out my applications earlier.
3. i need to bear the consequences of my own actions. even if i get a place i dun wan to be at, i asked for it.
4. God speaks thru my parents. if dad says no, obey it for God says "honour thy father & mother".

what i thank God for:
1. dad cares for me.
2. the 2 firms called me.
3. putting me thru this testing.
4. helping me decide to obey my father.
5. grace, knowing that God will never forsake me & leave me alone in this situation.

the list goes ever on...i won't list them all but am so glad that God has helped me make a wise decision. i know that my sch frens would probably think i'm being stupid by not gng for the interview tmr. but right now, what matters is that i've done wat's right in God's eyes. i pray that my tutors would understand why i decided not to go for the interview...

Dear Heavenly Father, i pray that You'll give me the strength & courage to call the firm to explain truthfully why i cannot go...O Lord God, i pray too, that You would give me faith in You Lord, faith that You have better plans for me...

i thank God for 'cher. for being there. for the advice she gave. and for the reminder to just turn my eyes upon Jesus, like how Helen Lemmel did in my favourite song...

turn your eyes upon Jesus...
look full in His wonderful face...
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim...
in the light of His glory & grace...


Saturday, August 28, 2004

ktv on a sat nite

haa...not listening to any songs now. sang and heard too many just now at the ktv. was great fun :) i'm glad josiah & ss agreed to come along. i hope they've had as much fun as i did...(with the older youths esp.)...i so wanna thank zer for always trying to bridge this gap between the GTFers and the older youths :)

hey dear...if u're reading this...i hope things between you & him are alrite yah? hope you'll cheer up! dun be so troubled by it...time heals everything (the hostility u were talking abt)...but we've got God to help us, so why worry?? u lots. anything just tell me okay...wished u were with us at the ktv today!

anyway...glad kor went cos i got a ride home! haa...but a pity we left 10 minutes before the time was up leh...wanted so much to stay longer actually...

oh's been a pretty good day...any day away from school & work is a good day! heh...

looking forward to church tmr...

Friday, August 27, 2004

oh no...

i'm listening to: Look What You've Done -Jet

such a nice song...ruined by a band tt was playing at biz park today for ccn day. not that the band was lousy. oh well...let's just say this song wasn't suitable for this band...heh.

anyhow, really thank God for luz jie jie. forgot my diskette again today. realised it only when i reached jurong east interchange. if i hadn't had to submit my 'summary of defects' in class today, i wouldn't have cared abt the diskette. couldn't tink of any other solution so i called home and asked luz jie jie to come down to jurong in a cab with it. felt really bad tho...but very thankful for her...should remind myself not to take her for granted...wat am i gonna do if she goes back to philippines...

oh yesh...fiona's away at phuket now...wonder how she's doing. i hope she's enjoying herself. eh, just beloved ss is HOME ALONE! haa... called just now. asked me abt my interview yesterday. i told him i've got anor one at kc partnership on mon and he flipped. how could i have forgotten. i had shown him the list when he was back in singapore and he acutually told me not to apply for a position there due to some reasons (which i shall not disclose here lest i get sued for defamation). honestly, i dunno wat to do now...i shall just leave it to God and pray that His will be done. i mean, how can i go for an interview hoping not to get selected rite... :

i've only been to one interview so far. not very confident but am praying that if it's according to God's will, i'll get a place there...den i won't hafta worry abt the kc interview...darlings, please continue to pray for me okay? also...pray that i'll be able to accept it if it isn't His will...

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

'bad' day?

i'm listening to: Who Am I? -Point of Grace

today's been a day of testing for me. went thru quite a no. of bad falling asleep on the train and missing my stop, being 15min late for class 'cos of that, failing company law paper really badly...gng to the sch's lab to print my cover letter & resume, only to realise i've left the diskette in my pc at home...but i thank God for sparing my life today. the bus i took on my way home almost got into an accident. i tink the uncle drove too fast & couldn't brake on time...the slippery road didn't help and the bus skidded sideways. on my side. it hit the kurb real hard the bus felt like it would overturn. i thank God it didn't cos the traffic light post was just beside my window.

i was sharing at prayer meeting abt my tots earlier this afternoon. i said to myself "sigh. so much bad stuff happening to me. how am i gonna go for prayer meeting this evening, with a grateful heart?" after sharing, pastor told me a story of the butcher who almost chopped off his finger. there was a butcher who always went for prayer meeting to praise the Lord. one day he cut himself with the chopper and he said to himself "how am i gng to give thanks to the Lord today?" later, at prayer meeting, he stood up and said "praise the Lord! thank God i cut my finger today, but didn't chop it off" : )

i also wanna thank God for mommy. despite me being such a brat, she's always so nice to me. today, i realised tt i had to buy my concession becos it expires i smsed her to ask tt she transferred money into my bank account. when she came home, she reminded me not to do things so last min again. i told her tt i didn't realise it till today and we kinda had a little arguement. but still, she walked over and gave me a little bag. it was a gift. a bracelet & a pair of earrings. day when u read this, i wan u to know tt i felt real touched...thank you mommy. i thank God for u...

alrite...guess i can still let her noe...i'm gonna write her a love letter now. yes. now...

Sunday, August 22, 2004

5 love languages

i'm listeng to: Love Crucified, Arose -Michael Card

thank God for solving the misunderstanding today. thank God for zer who brought both of us to thrash things out : ) i learnt something really impt abt friendship today...a friendship can actually break down becos what we give to a friend, might not be what that friend would like to recieve.

the 5 love languages:
1. quality time
2. acts of services
3. gifts
4. physical touch
5. words of encouragement

how would u rate these items under your "give" and "recieve" list? is what you give best what your friend wants best? : )

thanks zer, for this reminder...

Saturday, August 21, 2004

zer's birthday

I'm listening to: Kokomo -Beach Boys

yesterday was a really wonderful day. let me start by telling you how God answered my prayer. as i was standing at the mrt platform at jurong east yesterday afternoon, i whispered a prayer to God, "oh God, please send the rain today to cool the day...i'm feeling really warm in these jeans today..."

after civil pro class, some classmates peeped out of the window and gasped, "wah! the rain's so heavy!" haa...see, God answers prayers. according to fabian, i spoiled his plans cos he was intending to go down to east coast park...lols. and as i was leaving sch, shimin smsed me "I think that your prayer worked too well... The school's flooded now. O.o"

"praise God from Whom all blessings flow!" was wat i replied... *winks*

anyway, i made my way to town to meet dear right after school to look for a prezzie for zer. we also decided that we'd get her a small piece of cake with a candle or something like tt. so dear called zer and told her "gwyn wants to sit somewhere for coffee". and so, we agreed to meet at starbucks, paragon. dear & i went to mrs field's to buy a muffin with a little candle, rushed to starbucks and managed to borrow a lighter from the girl at the counter. our 'wonderful' plan went wrong and we ending up looking retarded. sheesh. we'd planned how we'd hide the cake with the lighted candle under the table and pop a surprise when she reaches our table but zer (and jenny) had to come from an unexpected direction. so poor 'ol me had to get up from my seat and quickly moved to anor seat. when zer reached our table, i popped the muffin and dear & i started singing "happy birthday". yes. while zer and jenny stood there. totally amused and stunned for the moment. sigh. wat a flop. zer later even said for a moment she tot i was gonna burn the table with my candle when she saw me slip the muffin under. -.-"

we sat at starbucks and just chatted till zer's fren, jason came to join us. after hearing so much abt him frm zer, i finally met him in person. funny guy. not tt he's funny in person. just the way he looks and talks makes me laugh actually. get wat i mean? tot he reminded me of somebody but couldn't recall who till like at the end of the day, when he was leaving. guess who he reminded me of? dn hoon poh. heh

at close to 12am, zer, jason, alan, luvena and i were standing in the middle of orchard road, trying to decide wat to do next. i was hoping kor would join us so i could get a ride home. said he'll go home for a shower and decide but after a while, suefern called to say tt my bro got home home and went right to sleep immediately. without his bath.

so zer, alan, luvena & i (jason left) walked to cuscaden and lazed around. was supposed to walk to merlion park but (exactly like wat i expected and told them) was to lazy to get moving. tot of gng down to poolside to snack on chips and talk, but didn't as well. in the end, 4 of us walked all the way to newton circus for supper. interesting walk we had. oh yeah, and i saw uncle derrick's son there. his name's alan too. wait till i tell papa abt it (family frens; uncle derrick's a good fren of papa). alan was drinking away like free. tsk...

walked all the way back to cuscaden to get my bag before alan saw me home in a cab. got home at 4am. tot he'd just go off right after i get off the taxi, but surprise surprise! he actually got the driver to wait till i got into my home. aawwww... *so touched* anyhow, i took a bath and got to sleep only at 5plus... o.O

so wat am i doing awake so early today huh...met gerald for breakfast at the coffee shop cos he was at west coast park for some run. ns liabilities. (not like he'll run out of the blue anyway. ha) brought him home to let him take a look and was really shocked when he told me he tot i lived in a private house. i wish. wonder wat made him tink tt way. -.- i tot i've ever told him i lived in an executive maisonette.

anyway, brought him to church to take a look before he went off. and so here am i now, sitting right in front of my com. supposed to do my theory hw and otcm assignment but am too lazy. i really feel like taking a nap. sigh...2 hours before i gotta be at church for ex-co meeting!~~ help me God, help me get my work done!!!

yah...anyhow, before i end, a very blessed 23rd birthday to zer!!! love you zer! oh yeah, blessed 20th birthday to kuan pin too! (not like he'd read this, so zer, just help me tell ur bro...) tink it's really cool tt they both share the same birthday...haa...btw zer, i dun tink ur jason a.k.a surrogate boyfren looks like a teddybear (alrite, let's not start). dear & i tink he looks like a beaver frm some cartoon actually. :P

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

just some updates

i'm listening to: You're My God -Jaci Velasquez

haven't blogged for quite a while. much has been happening tho, as usual. just wanna give thanks to the Lord most high for keeping me going, whispering into my ear tt He'll be there for me, constantly giving me strength.

wed, 11th aug 2004
went to sch for proj meeting. managed to get off early to meet jonathan since he was on block leave. haven't had a chance to talk to him. had a good afternoon having lunch with him at sakae sushi (his treat!)...haa...thanks Best Friend. both of us met up with alan for dinner. poor 'ol alan didn't have anyone to eat with. aww...

thu, 12th aug 2004
went to sch again for proj meeting. so much for a term break. anyway, met up with gerald and i asked erica to join us since she called to ask if i'd like to have dinner with her. took a long time before we 3 decided on where to eat. walked arnd, sat at starbucks and finally ended up sitting by the merlion park. realised tt it's a really nice place to just sit back, relax and enjoy the breeze...

fri, 13th aug 2004
went to pastor's place to help mrs heng make tiramisu with allvina & charissa teo. baked shepherd's pie for lunch too. went home since i had no plans...looked at some recipes online and suddenly decided to bake cookies & cream cheesecake :D was baking halfway when dear called to ask if i wanna go over to zer's place for movie and apple crumble...heh, popped by since kor was driving down too :P wow-wee, zer makes great apple crumble!

sat, 14th aug 2004
went to sch AGAIN for accounts class. went to church early to meet cher & daniel to prepare for this week's precepts. started to feel sick but stayed on for gtf's "church leaders' appreciation nite"...came down with fever so mrs heng gave me some pills to knock me out at nite...felt real sick back home...

sun, 15th aug 2004
real disappointed abt missing church. the moon was blue tt nite (okay, lame...haa)

mon, 16th aug 2004
got mc and had a real good rest. was telling a fren i felt like crying cos of the stress from work i haven't completed. thank God for tt fren who reminded me to cry out to God instead. thanks joel :) thank God also for giving me peace tt passeth all understanding...and for helping me complete my work on time for submission on tue.

had the opportunity to meet up with zer today for dinner before prayer meeting...thank God for the good time of fellowship :)

oh well...glad tt today's wed already...looking forward to sat and sunday...oh yes, peeeeeople, those of you who read this...remember yah...this fri is ZER's birthday!!!!!! :P

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

green tea shampoo, er, shower gel

i'm listening to: Yue Ding -Zhou Hui

played squash with eve today. josiah was supposed to join us but came only after we decided to stop playing. so the both of them came over to my place to chill instead. went to the supermart nearby and we were really shocked by how cheap the prices of the stuff were!!! bought some chips and pigged in front of the tv till dinner time -.-"

eve wanted me to try her new body foam...some green tea thinggie with after her bath, she told me she left it on the bathtub for me to use...when i used it, first thing tt came to my mind: where are the beads?? tot she said there were micro-beads or something...but still, i just went ahead and soaped myself with thing tt came to my mind: where's tt shiok feeling she said it'll give?? nm...i'll tell her it doesn't work on me.

but after my bath, i came down with tt bottle of body foam and told her i left it on the bar-counter. forgot to tell her tt there were no beads and all.

about half an hour later, she was keeping tt bottle when she suddenly started laughing. "oh no gwyn! i gave u the wrong thing! this is shampoo!"

-.-" wonder my skin felt funnily-smooth. no wonder the body foam didn't have micro-beads in it. no wonder i didn't get any shiok feeling. hmm.

next birthday or christmas prezzie for eve? a voucher for her to get new specs.

Monday, August 09, 2004

galilee field day / national day

galilee field day 2004 has come and gone so quickly! today was really a fun-filled day. was at church at 9am to help josiah set up our game station. so much for helping! even before everything i was already wet all 'cos he couldn't even pump the water balloons properly~ grrrrr~ when dear came over to help with the filling of water balloons, everything became more wet, incl me. but was all in the name of fun so...nm~

managed to join my team, "sowers" in a few games 'cos we had this rotation system thinggie tt allowed our station to be free the next round after a game. thank God for ppl in my grp : ) really enjoyed myself with them. and...guess wat?? our team came in 1st in place!!! woohoooo~ but again, win or lose, thank God for all the fun & fellowship we all had today!

after field day, dear went home to bathe before coming over to watch the ndp. 'cher graciously popped by too with chips and ice cream : ) tho it was only dear, 'cher, suefern, darrell darling & i watching it most of the time (kor & mommy joined us later), it was nice. a little glad tt not too many came too actually...less noisy...haa..after a tiring day...

anyway, thank God for a wonderful day...oh yesh, a very blessed national day to all~ i pray that God will continue to bless and watch over our nation.

Saturday, August 07, 2004

pray-for-our-nation day

i'm listening to: Runaway Train -Soul Asylum

i'm feeling sooooooooooooooo hot now! haharz, alrite...i meant, warm...just got home from the park behind. i came home from church at 9plus and darrell darling was abt to go out for a jog so i quickly squeezed into my running shoes and tagged along for a walk. ended up brisk-walking and running at some points too...been ages since i last exercised u know! haa...feels great~

aaaaaaaahhh...i'm on my second glass of cold-water-plus-ice already...soooo shiok can! ;) haharz, goodie, this will make up for the squash game i missed out on this morning 'cos of the test : )

today's been a meaningful day. had "pray for our nation" at gtf today. really thank God for His goodness towards our country these past 39 years. i thank God for a wise government who ensures that we all get an education. thank God for peace and stability in the country. thank God for good leaders serving our country. thank God for no natural disasters like typhoon, tornados or watsoever in our country. thank God for inexistence of wars. to God be the glory, great things He hath done!

also went for church camp echo today. i didn't attend the camp but elder john invited the gtfers anyway. glad i went : ) i felt so encouraged to see church members of all ages coming together to sing praises to God and recollect the wonderful memories of camp. i was already tearing cos i was so moved. i could just feel the togetherness of the ppl who came. ppl frm church. thank God for uniting the hearts of our church peeps. i really really wished i were there at camp myself! God-willing, i'm gonna be at camp 2005 : )

hmm...3 meetings after service tmr...i pray that God will guide us & give us wisdom as we plan for the different up-coming activities...

last but definitely not the least impt, PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!

Friday, August 06, 2004

thank God i was a DAY early

i'm listening to: To Be With You -Mr. Big

woke up at 8.45am today cos i had a test today. i felt the time (11.30am) was a weird one to start a paper so i called christina, who didn't answer my call. so, off i went to school...aaaaall the way there. 1hr45min. rushed into the LT only to see everyone writing away.

oh wait, i told myself. isn't this paper supposed to start at 11.30am?? it's only 11.25 and these ppl have written so much on their answer scripts? oh nooooo! dun tell me am late!!!

i asked (a couple of times) the invigilator wat paper were those ppl sitting for but he just didn't answer my qn but kept asking me for my class instead. i looked arnd, trying to look for familiar faces.

finally, after a few embarrassing moments in the LT full of ppl looking at me, giving me tt wat's-this-stupid-girl-doing-here look, that indian invigilator finally told me "H.A. paper"

alrite. i have totally no idea wat H.A. stands for but not like i care anyway. cos i was there for otcm. i apologised and rushed out of tt LT, called christina again. this time, she picked up. asked her where she was..."at home".

wonderful. i was a day early for my paper.

felt real sore abt the whole thing. on my way back i called dear to whine abt it and she kept saying i'm so blur and all...haizzz

over at pastor's place, i told mrs heng, cher & allvina abt it. well, not like i had to anyway. cos sweeeet old dear would have done it if i didn't...haa...cher & mrs heng kept telling me that i should thank God that i hadn't gone to sch only to find out the test was yesterday...

went down to the church office to print something and again, auntie elsie & auntie evelyn asked abt school and all. told them abt tt crappy incident and funny, auntie elsie told me the same thing cher did... i guess i really gotta thank God anyway. "in everything give thanks..."

oh...and guess wat...went down to fellowship hall to get sprite ice. met jess who was gng to sch. told me she was late for her ironic.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

my wonderful poly friends

i'm listening to: Not That Different -Collin Raye

thank God! my last paper tmr! so glad God saw me thru this whole week. just shared at prayer meeting last nite that i actually got more rest this week, compared to normal school days! got to take naps when i got home after my papers each day.

went to seoul garden for lunch today with melissa, jiahui, yenting & mylene after our company law paper today. i hadn't intended to go actually...but felt quite bad cos i had agreed earlier on before our mid-sem tests tt we'd go there after company law i went in the end...haaa. but am really glad i went. got to talk to mylene on the way there abt stuff...glad tt God's moving her heart to settle something tt's been bugging her : )

anyway, it was really fun at seoul garden! all the cooking and laughing. the last time melissa, jiahui, yenting and i went to seoul garden together was nov 2002 to celebrate melissa's birthday. haharz, also reminded me of the day mel & i decided to go to swenson's (to 'celebrate') when our exams weren't even over yet~ all just because we walked past swenson's and couldn't resist the temptations...

sheesh...i ate so much today tt i didn't even have dinner. i actually dun feel hungry at all, not even now~ esp after all the ice cream and sprite-float jiahui & melissa made for me...lols

haa...thanks guys, for today...really hope we'd get to hang out more often...sounds scary actually...we only got to know each other like 2 years ago...and now we're graduating...

really wanna thank God for friends like them in poly...before i entered poly, i never expected to find friends like them in poly...God's indeed my Jehovah Jireh...the One Who provides all that i need...even friends : ) i've always believed they come from God... ;)

oh yesh!!!! i'm gonna get to eat shepherd's pie for dinner tmr!!! haaa...gng down to church tmr...dear and i are gonna have dinner at pastor's home and mrs heng ordered us to get there in the afternoon to help prepare the baabaa-keeper's pie...heee...really can't wait!!!

higher hands are leading me!

i'm listening to: New Day -Avalon

so happy today!!! zer & allvina actually just left less than 5 minutes ago. wat a pleasant surprise. zer succeeded again, in bluffing me...haa...last nite we were just chatting on icq and she said she doesn't really wanna come back and it's still a long way to go before she comes back anyway...and today she turned up at prayer meeting~ haharz...

allvina, zer & i walked over to the coffee shop for teh tarik near my place after prayer meeting and zer decided to (as usual) play the same trick on kor. she got allvina to call him to try and ask him to come over to the coffee shop by saying tt she (allvina) was alone with me and she'll be lonely cos am gng home soon since i've got paper later...oh well, kor came over anyway and hmm, guess he was surprised-but-not-so-surprised. haa...

zer wanted kuan pin to pick her up but he was in town and didn't wanna leave so kor suggested tt zer & allvina come over to our place so we could chat while kor (and i) do our work...yup...was fun having them around!

today's been a great day. dear came over (supposedly to study) but we ended up watching "my sassy girl" tho we've both watched it a few times. am glad we got to spend some time together. she's been soooo busy with her ntu frens & weijie tt i had actually felt neglected!!!!!!! [thanks dear!!! *hugs*]

oh, and did i share abt wat happened yesterday afternoon? goes. i was looking for my companies act, searching thru piles of stuff but just couldn't find it. finally, i decided to go on my knees and begged God to help me find it. i got up, walked towards the pile on my piano chair, lifted some stuff and saw it right away. wonderful. wonderful reminder tt i shouldn't depend on myself too much : )

oh well...having company law paper in abt 9 hours and i'm still not prepared. haa...haven't even bathed!!! okay la...guess i gotta stop typing and get down to doing stuff. yup...oh...and of cos....


Monday, August 02, 2004

God's my great Physician

i'm listening to: Runaway Train -Soul Asylum

i wanna thank God for His healing Hands upon me!

saw papa off at the airport yesterday and had coffee with dear (thanks so much dear, for accompanying me!) at starbucks there since we were gng to moriah for combined yf meeting at 3.30pm. i started feeling unwell. first i had hot ears (i-dunno-why), den i started to sneeze...and well...i told dear i might have caught the flu bug but kept praying tt i'd be fine cos i had accounts paper today!!! we were late for the meeting so i smsed weijian to tell him tt we'd be gng to moriah on our own. but we bumped into them at the traffic junction anyway...when we were all behind moriah, we met sharon, her sister and wing. didn't really talk much cos i wasn't feeling well. oh, talking abt tt, thank God for a fren like wing who smsed me this afternoon to ask if i was okay : ) tot it was really nice of him. (thanks wing!) [but not like he'll see this la..haa]

anyway, i felt worse during the meeting at moriah and was wondering how i'd be able to focus on today's paper. (oh yesh, fiona...i won't forget tt pile of u-noe-wat, hahahahaharz)...i got home at abt 7.45pm. bumped into mommy at the interchange and saw charissa and her dad on the bus too :) pleasant surprise. oh well...back to the main topic (i seem to keep digressing today)...all i could do was ask God to help me recover so i won't feel sick and all...

guess wat? i woke up this morning feeling TOTALLY FINE. thank God for His grace and mercy upon me! : ) yup, and today's paper was pretty alrite. God's been good. i really thank Him also for friends like joanne, dear and wing who showed concern by sms-ing me to ask if i was alrite and all...really comforting : )

oh glad that one paper's down...3 more to go...and it's civil procedure tmr!!! all my frens are worried, but u noe...i'm actually not. i just feel this peace within me...peace from knowing that God's with me always.