a God beyond our comprehension
thank God for a wonderful time of fellowship with brothers/sisters-in-Christ over the past 2 days. met up with my poly CF friends for dinner last night and like i told phyllis, m real glad i went. i was very encouraged to hear abt wat some of the CFers are doing now...like phyllis, who was my law & mgt senior, is no longer doing anything related to law either. she has chosen to go into social work...melissa who did apparel design & merchandising, has decided to go into health science cos of her desire to help ppl, instead of doing 'perfecting' work (tt's wat design is all abt isn't it?) all her life. it's wonderful to know tt there are many ppl around me who have chosen to invest in the lives of others as well :) met up with clarence again today at holland v and i thank God for an enjoyable time with this brother-in-Christ who really cheered me up. the whole day at sch has been sad for me, after hearing a piece of bad news :) thank you for seeing me home, next time if it's earlier, i'll invite you in for coffee/tea/milo/milk..and we'll eat at the COFFEE SHOP next time okay? ;)
The bad news (from the human's point of view)
at work this morning, rev ong came to me saying he had a piece of bad news. elder vincent tan had just collapsed and passed away...my immediate response was "don't joke with me, rev ong". but i very well knew rev ong wouldn't joke abt such things...to put it simply, i couldn't accept it. talking to auntie joyce abt it, and tinking of joel and joshua, i stood there and cried.
i would very much like to ask God "why"...but if i could comprehend His actions, He wouldn't be God. i know for sure, tt God never makes mistakes, we just have to wait for Him to reveal to us His reasons behind it all. for His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts higher than our thoughts...altho it's not easy, i pray tt joel and joshua would remember tt all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord...and be comforted in knowing tt their beloved father is now rid of all pains, worries and sufferings of this unpleasant world, safe in the arms of Jesus...
HE holds my hands! :)
at ss & fiona's grandma's vigil service just now, when i went to get mommy at the table she was sitting at (with some church uncles & aunties), they (it was elder soo actually. hmph) asked how come they don't see anyone holding my hands...haaa.
well, there is Someone Who promised me He will. That Someone Who holds my hands cannot be seen, but He can be felt...and He's the same One Who holds the hands of all who decide to put our trust in Him...to stand by us - always.
"For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee." Isaiah 41:13
not tt i didn't get what elder soo and the uncles/aunties meant when they asked cos elder soo also went "i asked your mommy, you got boyfriend or not". well, what i know for sure is tt this special Someone Who holds my hands, if it's His will, will in His own perfect timing, bring the person He has in mind for me, to hold my (left?) hand as well ;)
my mommy & i
i just had prolly the most wonderful conversation with my mom. i thank God for giving me the courage to walk up to her room and asked her "mommy, you know why i wanna be a ______?" and to my surprise, mommy patiently listened to me...and God gave me patience, too, to listen to her. but after i shared with her why i wanted to go into this profession, she told me tt she and papa will always give me the support so long as m sure it's what i want. praise the Lord! i now have both the blessings of my parents to do what i want...and tt's what i've been waiting for, becos i know God speaks thru my parents :)
we talked abt many things too...and i really enjoyed it. it meant so much to me becos for a long period of time, i've always felt tt mommy (or anyone at home) didin't have time for me and so, every night, i'll go straight to my room and shut myself in. at the end of tonite's almost-2-hour-conversation (after many times of shoo-ing me to bathe, which i very reluctantly did), God actually gave me even more courage, to tell her how much i enjoyed this conversation with her and thanked her for it (plus a kiss~) and she in turn told me "see? next time better come and talk to me more" haa...i will!
also, m very thankful to hear from her, tt she reads the devotional i gave her for christmas, on the train to work in the mornings! :D
day by day
as i sat at the pew during prayer meeting today, singing this hymn, tears kept flowing down uncontrollably...not because i was sad, but because i marvelled at what a loving God i serve. The same God Who created the heavens and the earth, is the One Who cares abt my feelings. truly, God is the only One Who knows my heart so well...i didn't even have to tell Him i was tired...He knew.
this hymn has spoken to me in different ways, in different points of my life. back during poly days, when i failed a module and not realising tt i was angry at God despite saying i still thank Him for it, the last stanza hit me real hard at one youth worship service... "Help me then in every tribulation...so to trust Thy promises, O Lord, that i lose not faith's sweet consolation, offered me within Thy holy Word." only then i realised tt i've subconsciously lost tt faith's sweet consolation...and i was not trusting in God's promises in this tribulation tt i had felt was so big back then, which of cos, seems so small now as i look back at it...
today, this hymn is a reminder to me tt God's mercies are new every morning...and i ought to trust in my Father's wise bestowment (which is the amount of trouble we can bear each day). and in a book i read: with each day's measure of pain, God gives new mercies and He gives enough mercies only for tt day...we may get tired at the end of today, but we should not despair, for we've only used up the day's resources...come tmr, we will get new strength for the day itself. we don't have to bear tmr's burdens with yesterday's mercies :) and as He has promised, each day's strength will be in measure with each day's pain - no more no less.
with that, i leave you the lyrics of this wonderful hymn...
day by day and with each passing moment,
strength i find to meet my trials here;
trusting in my Father's wise bestowment,
i've no cause for worry or for fear.
He whose heart is kind beyond all measure
gives unto each day what He deems best -
lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure,
mingling toil with peace and rest.
every day the Lord Himself is near me
with a special mercy for each hour;
all my cares He fain would bear, and cheer me,
He whose name is Counsellor and Pow'r.
the protection of His child and treasure
is a charge that on Himself He laid;
"as thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,"
this the pledge to me He made.
help me then in every tribulation
so to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
that i lost not faith's sweet consolation
offered me within Thy holy Word.
help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
e'er to take, as from a father's hand,
one by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
till i reach the promised land.
jiaming's testimony
here's something my friend (who's studying in the US now) shared with me this afternoon and well, i've got his permission to post his testimony on my blog :)
"hey!!! i have another testimony to share...on fri, i lost my cell phone...i was very depressed and disappointed with myself for losing my cell again...however i started praying abit unwilling n trusting in God that he will provide....never did i realise when i check my voice mail today, a friend of mine found my phone!!! PAISE GOD!!!! i must say many times i really dont have the strength of living over here with so many daily situations n difficulties i'm facing...but god is good by been my real provider...im just filled with awe...."
a few things to thank God for:
1. charissa's salvation : ) i thank God for the opportunity to share the gospel with her and the privilege of leading her to Christ yesterday! she's the first soul i've led to Christ for the year 2006! i praise and thank God for His grace & mercy towards her...i thank God too, for giving me wisdom and right words to say to her :)
2. today's been a pretty pleasant day. well, the kids have settled down (no more crying) and getting a lil more obedient (my afternoon class) and i thank God for tt...i thank God too for mrs phua, auntie shelly and zheng lao shi for helping me with my kids' arts and crafts while m helping the small grps with their worksheets :) it makes a big difference.
3. a wonderful time over dinner and coffee with clarence this evening...(altho he always calls me ******) and for his dad who was really nice to send me all the way home...thanks, clarence!
o what a BRIGHT day!
thank God for a really BRIGHT day today! i know all of you are gonna think i must be mad cos it's been raining and gloomy all day. but heyy, tt's just the weather! i wasn't talking abt that! :D i really wanna thank God for 2 ppl today! first of all, my colleague ms ong! when i arrived at sch this morning, it didn't start out tt great, but she came to my classroom with a bear she called "him", hoping to brighten my day, and it sure did! thanks ong (haha, she always calls me "van")! the bear's really adorable! i melted when i took a good look at him at home! i also wanna thank God for john john, who wrote me a letter (well, he only signed his name cos he can't really write yet) all the way from chiangmai! alrite...see why m thanking God for a really bright day today? *winks*
being a testimony
as i sat listening to uncle shar*f's testimony last night, i marvel at how wonderful our God is. truly, God is gracious and a God of love...and His love is not exclusive. He loves everyone, no matter who we are or where we come from. uncle shar*f comes from a muslim country and family, which makes it difficult for one to place his/her faith in Jesus. i thank God for bringing him back to singapore again to have fellowship with us. it isn't easy for him to come to singapore becos of where he's from. but the God i serve is able :) i was very encouraged to see how he's growing as a Christian...when jonathan asked him how we could reach out to the muslim community, i was glad tt he didn't give us a step-by-step method...i thank God for his wonderful response - by being a testimony :)
God's timing is perfect. it's amazing how He speaks to me. over dinner with josiah, we were talking abt how being a testimony can be so impt (becos tt's what he learnt during his quiet time). he shared a story he read and unattentive me somehow didn't hear him say it was from "our daily bread".
today, i used "our daily bread" (it's not wat i usually do, but hey, i still didn't realise "josiah's" story was in there until i read the commentary) and the topic was abt how we should make learning God's word and doing it our most impt focus...and after i was done, i read my devotional book for teachers and guess what? it was about how we as teachers should show children what a Christian is through our behaviour, conversations, choices, and decisions...because a child will follow in the footsteps of those he/she admires the most! and i pray tt by God's grace, my footsteps will be worth following :)
first day at sch
today's been a long day...but enjoyable. i thank God for nelson who was nice enough to accompany me to sks to get a bible for someone...i thank God, too, for a wonderful evening spent with him and allvina over dinner, shopping and coffee. it's nice to meet up with church friends during the week, amidst all the work pressure you go through. it just makes the week feel better :)
i thank the Lord for being with me at sch today...it was a hectic day at sch. new kids. crying kids. each time i tink abt sch tmr, or rather, later...i can't help but worry. i really enjoy work, but when i tink abt the crying and screaming kids, how they're gonna run abt (it happens almost all the time cos i don't have an asst teacher with me this year), and the stress the parents give me by sitting in my class listening to me teach their kids, etc...i feel...i don't know how to describe this feeling.
but i thank God for allvina's reminder to claim God's promise...and like wat eric liddell once shared :)
"but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." isaiah 40:31
i'll look to God for strength...after all, tt's all i can do now :)
i thank You, Lord...for being my source of strength and comfort...in Jesus' name, amen.
blessed 2006, everyone!
praise God from Whom all blessings flow! first and most impt of all, i want to thank the Lord for being able to give thanks to Him, with all my heart, for a wonderful 2005 :)
this new year's day been special. what better way than to spend the first day of the year in the House of the Lord, worshipping Him! i thank God too, for bringing me to join 20% of our church members in praying for the church this evening :)
one of the many things (i've decided not to mention all, so don't worry) tt i thank God for, is allowing me to teach at galilee kindergarten this year. the 2 most impt thing tt God has taught me here are, patience and submitting to authority. it's been very wonderful and exciting teaching the little kids and God has been very gracious to me, becos first of all, m not trained as a teacher! by God's grace, He has given me an ability to communicate with kids and a love for them...which i so do not deserve. so may all praise and glory go to God alone!
God has been my Jehovah-Jireh - my Provider to all my needs, my Jehovah-Shammah - the Lord who's always there, my Prince of peace in times of confusion, my Guide & Counsellor in times of sadness, my Heavenly Father, and my Best-est Friend. He is my Source of comfort, strength and wisdom :)
i thank the Lord for all tt He has done for me in the year 2005. this sounds cliche, but although it's been quite a roller-coaster ride, i still thank the Lord because He didn't promise me it'd be smooth-sailing. He only promised to be with me always..and He's been faithful! and becos He has guided me thru 2005 safely, i trust tt He will do the same for me in the year 2006! and if God chooses to put me thru tough times this year, i pray tt i will not fear, even if i may not understand why...for i trust tt He has a purpose for everything tt He does! therefore, i now commit this year into God's hands and seek to acknowledge Him in all tt i endeavour this year!
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